 | Take the initiative in establishing new relationships |
| The world is filled with people who are dissatisfied with the state of their relationships. They think they haven't got enough others in their lives, or else they believe the others they have aren't up to scratch. Whether it's friendships that are missing or something more, a lack of satisfactory relationships is a common complaint. |
 | Always be looking for new ways to enrich your life |
| One problem I notice a lot is people stomping over the same ground all the time. They find a few things they like, or that reward them, then they just keep trying to wring out every last drop of juice from those sources. |
 | Work hard to give yourself lots of options and opportunities |
| Always finish what you start, is an adage that many people try to follow. And it's a good one in a lot of ways. But it probably focusses too much on the importance of the entire process towards achieving a goal. Generally, it's the earlier part that's most important, in my view. |
 | Learn how to give up one pleasurable thing for another |
| We humans are funny creatures. We seem to be part animal on one side, and part angel on the other. When I go to the zoo and I observe the creatures there, I'm often struck by how similar their behaviours and motivations are to our own. They act on lust, hunger, power, love and anger, just as we do. |
| Bring on the bad news |
| A common problem for people who are unsuccessful is that they slavishly avoid bad news. If such news has to be received, they prefer to put it off as long as possible. Often, they prefer to dodge it altogether. |
| Assertiveness is about balance |
| We've all met people who have a problem understanding assertiveness. Often, they're people who've spent much of their lives being walked over. One day, they get sick of putting up with this behaviour from others and do a complete flip. Suddenly, they're so busy being "assertive" that they don't realise how much they're annoying those around them. |
 | Don't fall into the habit of finding excuses not to take action |
| Sometimes it's good not to take action. It's just not called for under some circumstances and can actually make things worse. I've written about this before. |
| Operate in the real world |
| I grew up in a somewhat academic family. Many of my parent's friend are academics, and I've spent a lot of time socialising with such people. My own career has been mostly in the business world. What strikes me is how different their world-view of how things operate is to what I've experienced. |
| The world's best investment |
| Many people don't think of it consciously, but much of our lives are spent deciding how to invest our resources. Families decide whether to move into a bigger house, or save their money and stay in the current one. Young women decide which man they should bet their reproductive potential on. Workers ponder what they should do with their holidays. And so on. |
| Give away lots of little gifts |
| It amazes me how many people don't pay attention to developing their relationships. Other people are extremely useful in life. Indeed, for me, I think they are probably my favourite thing in the whole world. A good connection with another can be the most wonderful thing you can have. |
| How your identity can hold you back |
| We all have this picture inside our heads of who we are. And let's face it, for most of us, we're probably a little bit more generous than reality warrants. Who doesn't secretly believe that they may be a little smarter, more attractive, and more moral than those around them? |
| Understand some of the roots of poor motivation |
| I was in a gym class today lifting barbells, when I looked around. You could see everyone was having a hard time of it. I attend that same class regularly, and it's common to get people who turn up a couple of times and then never come back. If you just look at the obesity epidemic, it's clear a lot of people don't get as much exercise as they should. |
| Much of success is about knowing how to anticipate problems |
| When I was in my teens, my friends and I were addicted to arcade games. This is a pretty typical obsession with boys. I spent lots of my pocket-money on such games and even managed to win some of them. |
| Many people will do the minimum they can to get by |
| Have you ever noticed how many people operate at way below their potential? The genius who works an average office job, the fantastic woman who dates losers, the talented artist who spends all day in front of the TV. Why do such people not put in more effort? |
| Make good attributes part of your identity |
| We all have a picture of who we are inside our heads. Sure, you might be an accountant who lives in Miami, but it extends much further than this. |
| Make the unknown known |
| What prevents us from doing what we know we should? What is the root cause of procrastination? Why is it that even when we can clearly see what needs to be done, still we're paralysed? These are difficult questions. And of course, there's no simple answer. |
| Don't let your problems be because of laziness |
| We all have problems. Something is missing from each of our lives. And that may be driving you a little bit crazy. Perhaps you have difficulty finding love. Perhaps your financial situation isn't so good. Maybe you're unhappy in your work. Maybe you have some kind of health problem. |
| Life is conflict |
| The Lord of the Flies by William Golding is a fascinating novel. It tells the story of a group of school boys who get trapped together on a desert island. At first, everything is fine and they come up with laws to govern themselves. But soon, they turn into savages and murderers as the options to fulfil their selfish needs become too enticing. |
| Most worthwhile things in life turn out to be harder than you expect |
| What is it that gets people down? All sorts of things, of course. It may be a chemical imbalance in the brain, a family tragedy, or an accident. But most of the time, the reason for ongoing dissatisfaction is that people simply aren't getting what they want out of life. They feel they aren't where they should be. |
| No answer is better than any old answer |
| There are three little words that most people, particularly men, find it very difficult to utter. They are: "I don't know". For any question people can come up with, you'll see a bunch of answers being put forward, however little evidence there is to support them. |