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Most worthwhile things in life turn out to be harder than you expect
Sunday, 30 September 2007
What is it that gets people down? All sorts of things, of course. It may be a chemical imbalance in the brain, a family tragedy, or an accident. But most of the time, the reason for ongoing dissatisfaction is that people simply aren't getting what they want out of life. They feel they aren't where they should be.
No matter who you are, chances are there's something missing from your life that you regret. And what probably makes it even harder is that you know people who succeed in that particular area. They seem to have it under control, while you - clearly - don't. And you don't know how to get to where they are.
That's because most worthwhile things in life turn out to be harder than you expect.
One area that this occurs in is relationships. We all know someone (or if you're lucky you are someone) who seems to attract everyone they meet. The girl who gets asked out on a million dates, or the guy who has pretty women hanging off him.
If you're not this particular person, being in the same social setting as them can be extremely emasculating. While they are lapping up the endless attention, you seem to have turned invisible.
Of course there are remedies to this situation. You can practice being more confident, dress better, or develop a more interesting personality. But this is extremely hard to do. Much harder than most people realise.
Another area is in finances. Some people seem to be expert at getting well-paid jobs and managing their money. Others, meanwhile, struggle their whole life. No matter what they try, they still seem to be in a financial hole.
That's because getting on top of money issue is much harder than most people expect.
I could go on with examples, but I'm sure you get the general idea. In fact, the problems with a lot of these areas is what makes them so much part of the focus of people's lives.
If an issue is easily solved, then it's quickly forgotten. It's those thorns that we can't seem to remove from our bodies that obsess us.
Most worthwhile things in life will turn out to be harder than you expect. But that, also, is part of their beauty. For in overcoming the challenges faced, you will grow as a person. And your situation will become better than you could have imagined, not necessarily in a material sense, but in gaining the satisfaction of having won a hard-fought battle.
 | How to hook up with members of the opposite sex | | A man and a woman meet each other at a singles bar. He bowls her over with his conversation, she dazzles him with her beauty. Within moments, they fall in love. Three months later they're married. |  | Much of success is about knowing how to anticipate problems | | When I was in my teens, my friends and I were addicted to arcade games. This is a pretty typical obsession with boys. I spent lots of my pocket-money on such games and even managed to win some of them. |  | How to develop more sophisticated taste | | We live in an impatient world. Technology has given up unprecedented control over what we consume. If you don’t like what you’re watching on TV, there’s a hundred other channels just waiting for you to flick over to them. |  | Concentrate on the future | | We all have miserable events happen to us in life. Believe me, I’ve had my share too. | | Learn the skill of resilience | | I saw a very interesting TV documentary a couple of weeks back on the issue of happiness. It was asking what makes us happy and what makes happy people different from those who aren't. | | Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term | | I've previously looked at how to get a short-term "hit" of happiness. Now I'll explore the more important subject of long-term happiness. | | Work hard to give yourself lots of options and opportunities | | Always finish what you start, is an adage that many people try to follow. And it's a good one in a lot of ways. But it probably focusses too much on the importance of the entire process towards achieving a goal. Generally, it's the earlier part that's most important, in my view. | | Take some time to reflect on how astonishing it all is | | Sometimes we all feel as if we're living grey little lives. We want to be moving galaxies, but instead we're stuck in traffic, feeling ill, assigned boring tasks, or filling in tax returns. No wonder everyone feels a bit down every now and again. |  | The four measures of financial success | | If you want to do well financially, you must first understand what it is you have to achieve. It's not just a matter of making more money. Instead, there are four factors you must consider. | | Be aware of your competing desires | | Theodore Dalrymple is an interesting writer who often has keen insights into the emotional turbulence within us all. He's a doctor and psychiatrist who spent many years practising in a hospital and a prison in a deprived area of England. As he had to deal so much with those at the bottom of life's heap, he witnessed many of the tragedies that face us all at their most raw. |
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