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The source of most self-inflicted problems
Tuesday, 30 August 2005
Why do we do things that we know are going to hurt us? Why do people take drugs, eat too much, deliberately ruin their relationships, commit pointless crimes, and spend themselves into bankruptcy?
We're all vulnerable to silly decisions that we realize are going to hurt us, but sometimes seem unable to stop ourselves. Self-destructive acts are, in many ways, the defining sickness of the modern age. I've been involved in them myself, during unhappier periods in my life, and have also witnessed them in those around me. What drives us to do what we know is wrong and stupid?
I think it mostly boils down to one word - boredom.
The need for stimulation is one we sometimes seem least able to satisfy. In rich, developed societies, we have largely overcome the threat being hungry or without shelter. The extraordinary increase in human life expectancy and the defeat of many diseases has also reduced our risk from sickness. The peace most of us enjoy in our homelands, and the relative order enforced by our government means we're at much lower risk of physical harm than previous generations.
With all our other needs largely taken care of, we've become excessively focused on the one itch left to scratch - relief from boredom.
Fixing the problem of the bored masses appears to be what we're most focussed on as a culture. Billions are spent in shopping malls every day on trinkets designed to give us only a moment's stimulation. Thousands of movies, television shows, novels, websites and magazines are produced every year - mostly with the sole purpose of entertaining us. Our cities bulge with restaurants, bars, sports arenas and theatres. Every imaginable form of amusement is available to us - only a telephone call and a credit card swipe away - yet most of us still want more.
Our desperate hunger for stimulus appears bottomless. No thrill is thrilling enough.
And so it is that people turn to what they believe is the biggest buzz of all - destructive acts.
We're bored - so we stuff ourselves with food that know is bad for us, or take up smoking, or experiment with drugs, or rack up debts for pointless purchases.
And it can go deeper. The need for stimulation can drive some to crime, infidelity, violence and death.
This urge for excitement, and the temptation of relieving it through destructive acts, is deeply ingrained in us all. Recognizing it for what it is takes us on the first step towards overcoming it.
If you find yourself caught in the cycle of committing such acts - whether relatively minor such as overeating or major such as engaging in violent crime - ask yourself whether you're just doing it because you're bored. If that's the case, which it almost certainly is, recognize what a ridiculous situation that is.
Ask yourself this - Who but a complete idiot would do something to hurt themselves or others just for the sake of a bit of fun?
Feel the void of boredom within you and decide to take creative steps to fill it, rather than relying on the easy answer of cheap but damaging thrills. Start to introduce activities into your life that will give you the double bonus of achievement and boredom relief.
Perhaps you might be interested in undertaking some study, or starting a new sport, or joining a club, or undertaking one of the countless other activities available to us?
Deciding to relieve boredom constructively is one of the most important decisions any person can make. It can literally mean the difference between a life of chaos and misery or one of order and contentment.
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