|
Get control of your auto-pilot
Wednesday, 1 March 2006
The world is a complicated and chaotic place. There's much too much going on for any of us ever to be able to come to grips with it all. But humans have developed a way to cope with this overwhelming complexity. It's called routine.
All of us spend much of our time involved in some sort of routine.
We may get up every morning, go to work, have lunch in the same place, come home, watch television, read a bit and then go to bed. Or we may sleep until midday, go to a friend's place to take drugs, steal a car, strip it down for parts, buy more drugs, then go back to bed.
Routines take all kinds of patterns, and are made up of a number of different parts. Here are some examples of things many people routinely do:
- Work in a job that they hate;
- Eat a healthy breakfast;
- Argue with their spouse;
- Study a difficult subject;
- Cheat unsuspecting victims;
- Smoke;
- Write short stories;
- Exercise;
- Drink excessively;
- Buy things they don't need;
- Save money;
- Worry.
As you can see, routines can be made up of negative or positive actions. Most people's have a combination of both. I'm sure you can add a lot more to that list without too much thought.
What you should put a bit of thought into are your own routines. What actions do you habitually undertake that are positive? Which do you routinely do that are negative? Which daily habits, if added to your routine, would improve your life? Which could you do without?
It is, in many ways, the habits and routines we choose that define where our lives are going.
Nobody suddenly wakes up one morning being a doctor. That takes at least six years of routine study. Nobody suddenly finds themselves a professional criminal. That takes at least a few months of routinely deciding to break the law.
We'd all like to improve our lives, but changing habits and routines is hard to do. Why?
Because it involves getting control of our auto-pilot.
Most of us spend big chunks of our lives on auto-pilot. We can probably find our way to work or school without having to make too much conscious effort. Many of us can get into an argument without having to really think about it. Some of us can find ourselves visiting a drug-dealer, as if we were a train being guided by rails from which it is impossible to veer.
We undertake many of our actions in a semiconscious state. We've done them so many times before that we're comfortable with them. We can just sit back and let our subconscious take over, with our rational mind little more than a spectator.
This is perfectly normal and in many ways desirable. The endless complexity and choice of the universe would likely overwhelm us without resort to the comfort of the well-known.
But what if our auto-pilot has been set to steer us into destructive patterns? This can easily happen for all sorts of reasons. Maybe our parents taught us that way, maybe our friends influenced us, maybe something happened to make us take up a habit for no reason that's apparent to us.
What matters is that we recognize destructive patterns for what they are. Whether it's getting into fights, treating our bodies badly, being too lazy to do things we know we should, or being nasty to those around us - identify your bad habits and make a conscious decision to change them.
Of course, this isn't easy. Generally, you want to concentrate on either removing one bad habit from your life or gaining one good habit at a time. Trying to do too much at once can make the whole thing so difficult that you're overcome.
Decide one habit that you're going to change and then get control of this part of your auto-pilot using nothing but willpower.
I can tell you right now that your auto-pilot is going to hate this. There's nothing an auto-pilot despises more than attempts to re-program it. From its point of view, continuing with your destructive pattern is far preferable to making changes to its carefully worked out routine.
That's because most human auto-pilots are lazy cowards. They're scared of change, and on top of that they just can't be bothered with it. So much easier just to carry on with the old program.
They'll whisper all sorts of negative thoughts about your attempts to change your routine. They'll use the old strategy of introducing fear, uncertainty and doubt into the situation to try and steer you away from this dangerous course. They'll make you feel sick, tired, and as if tomorrow is a much better day for a change.
Recognize these attempts to regain control for what they are, steady your grip on yourself, and continue forward. Your auto-pilot may be strong-willed, but you're much stronger. You are the master here, not it.
If it helps, remind yourself that many other people around you have certainly changed the habit you're trying to change. Millions of people give up smoking every year. Millions start exercising regularly. Millions study regularly to improve their skills.
Sure it's hard, but it's far from impossible. The proof of this is everywhere.
Gain control of your auto-pilot and set it to the program you wish to follow.
 | Learn the skill of resilience | | I saw a very interesting TV documentary a couple of weeks back on the issue of happiness. It was asking what makes us happy and what makes happy people different from those who aren't. | | It's hard to appreciate the emotional impact of something until you experience it | | When I was a young adult, the father of a friend of mine passed away. My friend had a very close relationship with his father, and was devastated. He went into a deep depression for a number of months. |  | Seven simple ways to ruin your friendships | | I've met a lot of lonely people over the years - quite a few of whom I've gotten to know well. Often, they claim to have real trouble establishing friendships. Usually, they're making simple mistakes that virtually guarantee to ruin most of their chances. Here are some of the main ones. |  | Operate in the real world | | I grew up in a somewhat academic family. Many of my parent's friend are academics, and I've spent a lot of time socialising with such people. My own career has been mostly in the business world. What strikes me is how different their world-view of how things operate is to what I've experienced. | | Three good tricks for catching out liars | | The world is filled with liars. We all tell porkies to some degree in order to get what we want. Of course, some people lie more often than others. | | Self-esteem has to be earned | | It seems obvious to anyone who thinks about it for a moment, that sound decisions must be based upon good information. If we say that good information is basically "the truth" and look at decisions as those that are made to improve our lives, it seems strange that a modern semi-religion has grown around encouraging us to lie to ourselves. The lie I'm talking about is, of course, building up our "self-esteem". |  | Collect some achievements you can be proud of | | We all go through difficult times in our lives. When things don't turn out as we might have wished and the world seems to press violently down on us from all sides. We all have times when we feel terribly alone. | | My favorite productivity tools | | Most of us want to get more done. The tools we come up with often help us to achieve this goal. Here are my favorite productivity tools. | | Play out in the real world, not imaginary ones | | One of the blessings and the curses of modern life is the endless potential for us to get lost in imaginary worlds. Television, books, games, the internet, magazines and many other fantasy environments beckon us from every direction. |  | How to develop more sophisticated taste | | We live in an impatient world. Technology has given up unprecedented control over what we consume. If you don’t like what you’re watching on TV, there’s a hundred other channels just waiting for you to flick over to them. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|