|
Don't steal from your future self
Wednesday, 26 April 2006
Imagine you were in a close relationship with someone who treated you terribly most of the time. They'd spend your money before you even earned it, damage your health through negligence, force you to deal with the side-effects of drink or drugs, ruin your career prospects and mess up your relations with other important people in your life.
What would you think of such a selfish person? Would you want to maintain such a damaging relationship?
Unfortunately, this is exactly the sort of relationship many people have with their past selves. The person who they were yesterday, last week, or last year has passed on multiple problems to today's self, just so they could live it up at the time.
If you had a friend or family member who was doing the same thing, you'd be furious with them. Such behavior would be grounds for terminating the relationship altogether. You would expect that person to feel terribly guilty for putting you in such a horrible situation. You'd want them to stop doing these things to you quick-smart.
But for some reason, we seem to be more forgiving when our past selves cheat us. I suppose it's because we have empathy with their situation. We were there. We saw what they saw and felt what they felt.
Or to flip the concept around, many people seem to see their future selves as another person they can dump the consequences of their behavior on. They think:
- "I'll buy this car on credit and work harder to pay it off next month".
- "I can't resist eating that third doughnut, I'll cut down next week".
- "Sure I can drink too much or take drugs today. If I feel sick tomorrow, too bad."
- "I don't care if I have to live with this person. They've got something I want and I'm going to take it."
- "I can't be bothered to fix that problem at work today. I'll just cover it up and deal with the consequences when they arrive."
- "If I get lung-cancer from these cigarettes in the future, too bad. I'm enjoying myself today."
- "I'm bored, so I'm going to do something irresponsible. To hell with the consequences!"
The only problem with this attitude is they're going to wake up one morning and find that they are the person who's been dumped on. Sometimes, they can get away with passing the problems on again into the future, but sooner or later it all catches up with them and they have to deal with it.
Some people spend their entire lives struggling to deal with the selfish things the person they used to be passed onto them.
The person they will be in the future is an abstract concept that can be difficult for some to picture. They can view this person as a saint who'll deal with all their problems; or they can see them as someone who deserves to be dumped on; or they can try not to think about them much at all.
The best way to view our future selves is as someone who needs our help. Instead of taking something from them, give something instead. Be nice to them, and you'll live to enjoy the consequences. Try some of the following:
- Save some money for them to spend and invest on things that please them.
- Exercise and eat well so they'll be in good health.
- Work on improving your relationships, so they can enjoy them too.
- Educate yourself, so they'll be better able to deal with the world.
- Avoid drinking excessively and taking drugs, so they won't feel sick.
The big advantage of treating your future self well, is that the benefits are compounding. If you save some money, then the person you are in the future saves the interest from that money plus a bit more, you'll be well on your way to becoming rich.
Be charitable to your future self and treat them as a person you love and want to be happy. The benefits you receive from this attitude will likely be huge.
 | Get yourself some allies | | People I know who are introverted often tell me they don't really understand why outgoing people expend so much time and effort on socialising. They see it all as being a bit shallow and a waste of effort. But I think they miss the point in a lot of ways. |  | Enough hyperventilating about AdSense | | There's been a popular theme on lots of blogs lately about how much money there is to be made from Google's AdSense advertising program. For those not in the know, this basically involves earning money from Google ads like the ones on this site. Now AdSense is a great program, and I'm happy to make some good spending money from it every month. |  | What's the worst that could happen? | | Sometimes, I have dreams that I'm being chased. Often I'm not even really sure what it is that's pursuing me. All I know is that I'm running away from something that's right on my tail - just about to catch me with terrible consequences. |  | Focus on the problem, not on the person | | We all face challenges every day. Things in the world are seldom exactly as we want them, and we spend a large part of our lives trying to change that situation. | | Don't get sucked into destructive games | | As a follow up to my story on the games people play, I thought I'd explore a couple of incidents that have happened to me lately and how I tried to resolve them. My aim is to avoid getting sucked into the destructive games that many people insist on playing. |  | Become expert at identifying your own weaknesses | | We live in a society that promotes the cult of self-esteem. Anything goes as long as we feel great about ourselves, or so we're led to think. Believing we may have flaws is a big no-no and certain to have a negative impact on our success. |  | The world hates the weak | | About a decade ago, I had a job at a government office. My work mates were the enlightened and knowledgeable types that you often meet in such places. Their political views were generally what's considered progressive and many of them were involved in charity work. | | Why not to be a show-off | | We all want to be recognized for the good things we are or the great things we've done in this life. What's the point of being smart, beautiful, charismatic or strong if you can't be appreciated for it? | | Increase the difficulty level | | I've just got back from a fantastic week's skiing in Queenstown, New Zealand. If you've never been there, it's really one of the world's most beautiful spots. I got in a good five days skiing, and I think I improved my style quite a bit. |  | A neat trick for dealing with anxiety | | When I was younger, I used to get anxious a lot. I think this is partly to do with the fact that being a teenager is just a stressful time, but also because I hadn't learned to deal with anxiety. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|