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Resist the urge to criticize all the time
Saturday, 24 December 2005
Are you the type of person who has to tell everyone that they're wrong all the time? Does the tiniest fault in others drive you crazy to the point of having to carp on about it? If so, then what you're doing is counter-productive to your best interests.
People who criticize and complain constantly often think that they're serving some kind of public interest. By pointing out to everyone what's wrong with them and the world in general, they hope to improve things. It may be a comforting thought, but it's just plain wrong.
If you are the type of person who criticizes and complains all the time, you are only really achieving two things. Those are:
- Making those around you resent you.
- Making those around you ignore your opinions.
Nobody likes to be told that they're wrong, hopeless or stupid. They won't thank you for pointing it out to them, even if you think it's true. Rather, they'll just think you're rude and have nothing to do with you.
Even worse, constant criticism is likely to reduce your influence over others. If you think that complaining about everything is a good way to change things, you're likely to be disappointed. Like the boy who cried wolf, those who carp all the time are likely to find their views ignored. When they have genuine cause for criticism, their influence over others will be greatly reduced.
Of course, sometimes it's necessary to complain or criticize. If something is genuinely a problem with real negative consequences, then of course you should point it out to someone. However, these events are generally rare.
In many cases, you may be creating a big deal over nothing. Worse, there's a good possibility (although hard for many to admit) that you are the one who's wrong.
Someone who criticizes rarely, but chooses those occasions they do carefully, is likely to find their views treated with respect. They are also likely to find their relationships much stronger.
It is not necessary to criticize and complain constantly. It can be such an ingrained habit that it is hard to break. Make efforts to bite your lip when you feel a disparaging remark about to pass it. Spend some time erring on the side of carping too little, until you break the habit.
Your relationships and influence on others will be all the better off for it.
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