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Most people start with a conclusion and then search for the facts to support it
Most of us realise that the people we deal with in everyday life often aren't rational. They behave in ways that bewilder. They do things that seem immoral, stupid and not in their own interests. They hold beliefs that just seem crazy.
What gives? Why are people so frustrating?
Something I figured out long ago is that people rarely change their opinions on anything. This seems to become even truer as they get older. On almost every topic that will affect them, most people have made up their minds long ago and aren't going to change them any time soon.
Look at politics as an example. The vast majority of us support one particular political party and aren't going to change no matter what. I meet people all the time whose political party could start behaving like the Nazis, and they'd still support them out of some kind of loyalty.
On subjects as wide ranging as manners, food, lifestyle, morals and movies, people are generally very set in their ways. Indeed, they're immune to arguments against the conclusions they've already drawn.
I can even see it in myself. When forced to decide on a particular topic, I'm usually pretty quick to draw a conclusion. Then, unless I make a conscious effort to do so, it becomes very difficult to change my mind. Indeed, the weight of an already drawn conclusion is so heavy, that lifting it aside can be near impossible.
Most people get around the uncomfortable feeling changing their mind makes in them by ignoring any arguments to the contrary. Look at the newspapers and blogs people read. Usually, they go for something that exactly represents their own views, and ignore or ridicule anything contrary.
I don't even bother, generally, trying to convince anyone of anything that they've already had time to make up their minds on. I just know that any arguments I make, no matter how rational, will just be like shouting into a vacuum. Indeed, once people realise I'm trying to convince them of something, I can see them switch off.
It's an unfortunate fact of life, but most people start with a conclusion and search for the facts to support it. In an ideal world they'd be doing the opposite, but we don't live in an ideal world.
Realising this basic fact can make life a lot less frustrating.
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