|
Most people start with a conclusion and then search for the facts to support it
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
Most of us realise that the people we deal with in everyday life often aren't rational. They behave in ways that bewilder. They do things that seem immoral, stupid and not in their own interests. They hold beliefs that just seem crazy.
What gives? Why are people so frustrating?
Something I figured out long ago is that people rarely change their opinions on anything. This seems to become even truer as they get older. On almost every topic that will affect them, most people have made up their minds long ago and aren't going to change them any time soon.
Look at politics as an example. The vast majority of us support one particular political party and aren't going to change no matter what. I meet people all the time whose political party could start behaving like the Nazis, and they'd still support them out of some kind of loyalty.
On subjects as wide ranging as manners, food, lifestyle, morals and movies, people are generally very set in their ways. Indeed, they're immune to arguments against the conclusions they've already drawn.
I can even see it in myself. When forced to decide on a particular topic, I'm usually pretty quick to draw a conclusion. Then, unless I make a conscious effort to do so, it becomes very difficult to change my mind. Indeed, the weight of an already drawn conclusion is so heavy, that lifting it aside can be near impossible.
Most people get around the uncomfortable feeling changing their mind makes in them by ignoring any arguments to the contrary. Look at the newspapers and blogs people read. Usually, they go for something that exactly represents their own views, and ignore or ridicule anything contrary.
I don't even bother, generally, trying to convince anyone of anything that they've already had time to make up their minds on. I just know that any arguments I make, no matter how rational, will just be like shouting into a vacuum. Indeed, once people realise I'm trying to convince them of something, I can see them switch off.
It's an unfortunate fact of life, but most people start with a conclusion and search for the facts to support it. In an ideal world they'd be doing the opposite, but we don't live in an ideal world.
Realising this basic fact can make life a lot less frustrating.
 | Make sacrifices, but don't get too carried away | | We all have to forgo things we'd like to have today in order to get a bigger reward tomorrow. We spend unpaid time educating ourselves so we can get a better job, we save for retirement, and we work hard to buy nice things. | | Seven tips for powering up your communication skills | | Most people don't spend too much time thinking about improving their communication skills. I speak, they should listen, is the attitude. That's a pity, because effectively getting your message across is a hot-button for success in most fields. |  | Work on breaking down the walls in your mind | | When I was younger, I used to be terrible at starting conversations with strangers. This was true even when they were reasonably familiar. There might be somebody who sat next to me every day in class and who I thought looked interesting, but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to them. |  | Five things likely to make you happier in the short term | | Here is my list of things to give you a short-term "hit" of happiness. Each is virtually guaranteed to give you some satisfaction. | | How to improve your imagination and creativity | | There are all sorts of strategies that are talked about for improving your imagination. Free-form flowing, lateral thinking and "thinking outside the box" whatever the heck that means. | | Three good tricks for catching out liars | | The world is filled with liars. We all tell porkies to some degree in order to get what we want. Of course, some people lie more often than others. | | Understanding the basis of your emotions | | We are emotional creatures whether we like it or not. There is a popular idea that emotions are irrational and the intellect rational. We are supposed to aim to use our intellect and ignore our emotions, like Mr Spock, or so some would have us believe. |  | How to get a job paying more than $100,000 a year | | How do people get themselves into a position of earning good incomes at young ages? Why do some people work hard for minimum wage while others have cushy jobs that are well-paid? Most importantly, how can you become one of the latter? | | The source of most self-inflicted problems | | Why do we do things that we know are going to hurt us? Why do people take drugs, eat too much, deliberately ruin their relationships, commit pointless crimes, and spend themselves into bankruptcy? |  | Correlation does not equal causation | | We humans are wired to see connections between things. If it rains after the sky gets cloudy, we figure the two are related. If a bad smell arrives at the same time as a person, we decide that they must be the cause of it. If apples fall from trees and hit the ground, we work out that some kind of force must be acting upon them. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|