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A neat trick for dealing with anxiety
When I was younger, I used to get anxious a lot. I think this is partly to do with the fact that being a teenager is just a stressful time, but also because I hadn't learned to deal with anxiety. Some people seem to be born more highly strung than others, but I think everybody needs to learn how to deal with tense situations. I'm certainly much better at it now than I was twenty years ago.
So here's a neat trick I learned for overcoming anxiety. It's controlling your emotions by controlling your body.
Nervousness is a kind of reinforcing cycle between the body and the mind, I think. Something disturbs the mind, so the body tenses up, which makes the mind race even faster, which makes the body more anxious, and so on. Before you know it, the tiniest little thing has your heart beating fast and your head aching like you've got a migraine.
The easiest of these two factors to control is the body. Talking yourself out of thinking something is much harder than training your body to relax. And the self-reinforcing cycle moves the other way towards calmness also.
You can teach yourself to relax in the same way you can improve your serve in tennis - through practice outside of the real game. Below I'll list the steps towards training your body to relax. Try them out whenever you find yourself with a spare moment - whether it's while you're lying in bed, sitting waiting for a train, or stuck on an airplane.
Okay, here are the steps:
- Close your eyes gently, don't squish them shut or screw up your forehead.
- Get control of your breathing. Concentrate on taking slow, rhythmic breaths in and out through your nose.
- If your jaw is clenched, let it loose. If your tongue is pressed against the top of your mouth, let it flop down to the bottom.
- Concentrate on relaxing your hands. Let them rest gently in your lap. Feel the tension being released from them with each breath.
- Once your hands are relaxed, move your thoughts up your arms and then to your shoulders and your neck. Think carefully about easing the tension in all these parts of your body.
- Follow this process throughout the rest of your body, until the entire thing is relaxed and free from tension.
The first few times you attempt this, you'll probably find it quite difficult, especially if you're a naturally tense person. Sometimes, sitting in a dim room with slow music on can help.
Don't be discouraged if your progress is slow. The same is often true of any physical training - from catching a ball, to riding a bike, to driving a car. Your body just has to get used to your new expectations.
Over time, you'll start to notice you can relax more and more of your body without messing up. Even better, as you become more adept at it, you'll be able to relax simply by concentrating on your breathing, your tongue, your jaw and your hands. Your body will learn that this is the signal to relax and just let go.
It's very difficult for a body at ease to house a mind that's stressed, so you'll find this is a great cure for worry. Besides, while you're concentrating on relaxing, you're not thinking about what had you so anxious.
Once you've mastered this trick in a comfortable environment, start trying it out in more demanding settings. Relax yourself while sitting in a traffic jam or in a tense time at work. The more you try it out, the better you'll get at it.
Being able to relax when all hell is breaking loose around you gives a wonderful advantage in decision making. I'm sure you realize as much as the next person, that when you're stressed you make poor decisions.
This is a neat trick to learn, and anyone can do it really. I highly recommend putting in some conscious effort towards adding it to your box of techniques.
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