|
Don't hate your anxiety too much, it may be why you're here
A lot of people in the modern world have a problem with being over-anxious. Psychiatrists' offices are full of people who worry too much. Sufferers often know they have a problem, but they just can't seem to do anything about it. It's as if they're hard-wired to fret. Maybe they are.
There's no doubt that being excessively anxious can make you miserable. It's hard to be happy when you're worried all the time. But if it's your genes, rather than your environment, that are causing you to fret, they may well have been the reason for your existence in the first place.
Where do your genes come from?
Your parents of course. But not only from your mother and father, but from their parents as well. And their parents' parents and their parents' parents' parents and so on back thousands and thousands of years.
Somewhere back in the history of humanity, each of these couples met up and reproduced. By a series of astonishing chances, all the right pairs had children together in order for you to become the ultimate product.
If anything had gone wrong in that matchmaking you would never have existed at all. Say your grandfather had never met and reproduced with your grandmother - well, you wouldn't be here to read these words. And that is true right back to whoever your ultimate ancestors were.
But luckily, everything went right. They all met up and had at least one baby together. All it would have taken is one piece in this enormous string of circumstances to be out of place and - POOF! - no more you.
So what could have gone wrong?
All sorts of things. Maybe they could have made a decision not to go to the place where they met. Maybe they wouldn't have been attracted to one another. Maybe somebody else could have chosen them as a mate first.
But the ultimate thing that could have gone wrong is that one of them could have died before they had a chance to reproduce. And history was a dangerous place.
In our relatively safe, modern world, we forget how easy it was for people to be killed one hundred, one thousand, and ten thousand years ago. Water and food were less clean, general hygiene was terrible, no medicines existed to treat disease, and violence was common. An accident, such as a broken leg, which today would be a painful inconvenience would probably have spelt death ten thousand years ago.
Even 200 years ago, average life expectancy in Europe was around 36. This figure was so low mostly because many people died young from violence, poor medicine, and disease.
Against all the odds, your ancestors managed to survive long enough to reproduce. With easy death all around them, they lived long enough to pass along the next link in the genetic chain that led to you.
How did they do it?
Probably by being very cautious. They knew that survival was tough and they were probably always thinking and worrying about how they could survive. Some of their worries were probably unjustified, but some of them were probably right. They knew not to take excessive risks and so they lived on.
Sure, that anxiety may have made them miserable sometimes, just as it may make you miserable sometimes. But nature, and the genetic chain doesn't care about happiness. As long as a person doesn't commit suicide, and doesn't allow their misery to affect their reproductive chances, it's virtually irrelevant in the great game of pass-on-your-genes.
All that matters is that you survive long enough to reproduce. And being anxious about what could go wrong in a dangerous world probably helped to increase the chances of that.
Even today in rich countries, a lack of anxiety can easily lead to an early death. Think of over-confident young drivers getting themselves in fatal crashes, or arrogant drug-dealers getting themselves shot. A bit more anxiety could have helped such people survive.
So next time you're obsessing over how terrible it is to fret all the time, try not to hate this aspect of yourself too much. The genes that cause it may also have helped put you on this planet in the first place.
 | Emotions are like muscles, you need to work them out | | It’s amazing how much of our lives are controlled by our emotions. In fact, it could be said that pretty much everything we do is in pursuit of some sort of emotional comfort. If you’re hungry, lonely or cold, your emotions are going to let you know by making you feel miserable. This is generally a good thing. |  | If investments become cheaper, and you’re a buyer, that’s a good thing | | In the last few years, stock markets around the world have been hammered. Currencies have also fallen to historic lows. People see their portfolios down and are running scared. |  | Don't fall into the habit of finding excuses not to take action | | Sometimes it's good not to take action. It's just not called for under some circumstances and can actually make things worse. I've written about this before. |  | The best way to influence the behavior of others | | We are all dependent on one another. We need other people and they need us in order to live the best lives we can. But other people are generally outside of our control. So one of the biggest problem anyone faces is how to get others to behave in the way we want them to. | | What to do when you've made a life-shatteringly bad decision | | Let's face it, despite our often high opinions of ourselves, we're all human really. There's not a person on this planet who hasn't made an incredibly stupid decision at some stage that's had life-changing consequences. You'll certainly make such a dumb call yourself some day, as will I and everybody else. | | It's extremely difficult to change people | | Most of us have someone in our life we'd like to change. It might be a lover, a child, a boss, or a neighbor. We try every trick at our disposal to meet that end, but in general we are likely to fail. | | Throw yourself in the deep end | | We're all afraid of things we haven't experienced before. We'd like to take a more responsible job, but we're not sure we can deal with it. We'd like to meet new people, but we're afraid that they won't like us. We'd like to try out a new activity, but we're worried about making a fool out of ourselves. |  | If you don't know, say so | | Three of the hardest words for many people to say are: "I don't know". In fact, many of the problems in human history have been caused through our aversion to these words. How come? |  | The transition periods are often the most difficult | | Someone I know quite well once discovered that his wife of five years was seeing another man behind his back. He found out when she suddenly announced she was leaving him for her new beau. He was out of town at the time, and when he returned he found most of the furniture in his house missing. | | Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term | | I've previously looked at how to get a short-term "hit" of happiness. Now I'll explore the more important subject of long-term happiness. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|