Lifehacks







Five simple exercises for improving your willpower

Tuesday, 22 August 2006

Being successful is largely about gaining control over some aspects of the external world. But it's difficult to do that until you've got control over the internal world of yourself. In life, the strength of your self-discipline very often determines the likelihood of your success. Because of that, self-control is a skill worth developing.

And it is just another skill that can be practiced and improved upon - like tennis, playing the piano or programming a computer.

You can see evidence of this simply by watching children. Most of them have terrible self-control. They squirm, lose their tempers, and do the wrong thing no matter how much you threaten or reward them not to. A cookie jar and an adult with a turned-back is all it takes to shatter any child's self-discipline.

Yet even the most organized adult once went through the emotional roller-coaster of childhood. Just like a golf pro who once had never held a club until he started training, disciplined people coach themselves in the methods of power over the self.

Here are some simple exercises you can do if you need to build up your own willpower.

Drop a small bad habit
I went to the dentist for a check-up a couple of years ago and found I'd developed my first ever cavity. The dentist asked me if I'd been eating anything sweet. The only thing I could think of was the teaspoon of sugar I added to my twice-daily cup of tea. Apparently, doing this coats the teeth in sugar and leads to cavities.

No problem, I simply stopped putting sugar in my tea. At first, it didn't taste as nice, but now I actually prefer it that way.

This is an example of dropping a small bad habit. Other examples include giving up a regular afternoon snack, pressing the snooze button on the alarm clock, or having one too many coffees a day. Giving up something small but significant is great self-discipline practice.

Learn something boring but useful
Most people skip learning important skills simply because doing so is boooorrrrrriiiing. Consider skills like grammar, punctuation, financial literacy, technical skills and the like. I'm sure you can think of at least one such skill that you could do with brushing up on.

Go down to the library or bookstore and pick up a book on the topic you choose. Make sure it's something necessary that you have a distaste for. Now read that book all the way through within the next week.

Do something you know you should every day for a week
We all have things we know we should be doing but aren't. Perhaps for you it's regular exercise, household chores, or getting up earlier. Choose one such activity and set a week where you'll do it for a set amount of time every day. Make a rule with yourself that for every day you miss, you'll add two days to the end of that week.

Set yourself an achievable, but difficult goal with a date for reaching it
Build yourself a willpower game around a particular goal. Perhaps it could be giving up smoking, losing a certain amount of weight, or reading a particular number of books. Organized events such as fun-runs are also good.

Make sure it's something that's reachable with a high level of certainty (such as quitting smoking) as long as your will holds. In other words, no external events other than your own self-discipline should be able to have a major impact.

Developed a single-minded focus on achieving that goal by the set date. Don't let yourself pass the day without reaching it.

Have a month where you ban yourself from putting anything off
Every day we get tasks which can be done immediately, but usually aren't. Good examples are paying the bills, emptying the dishwasher, or starting a college assignment. Put aside a month where you'll refuse to allow yourself to put such things off. As soon as the task becomes known, force yourself just to do it. Don't allow yourself to wait for even five minutes before getting started, and get the task finished as soon as is humanly possible.




Self help & motivationWhy it's so hard to find a satisfactory long-term partner
Almost all of us have a deep yearning to find a significant other to share our lives with. For those of us without one, it can become an all-consuming problem. A single person can meet someone who they could form a relationship with almost every day, yet years can go by without such a relationship being formed. Why is it so difficult?
Self help & motivationTurn your hopes and dreams into something concrete
What's the big difference between those who we consider successful and those we don't? There's plenty of smart, fun, talented people out there, so why aren't they all successful? The difference isn't really between those who have the best attitude and dreams, and those who don't. It's between those who produce something concrete from their dreams and those who don't.
Self help & motivationLook up from your navel every now and again to marvel at the beauty and glory of the universe
Let's face it, most of what we humans obsess over is pretty pathetic. The smallest insult can have us fuming for weeks, the tiniest inconvenience seems overwhelming, and our little problems fill our heads as if we were the most important person that was ever born.
Self help & motivationIf you work and take risks, it's possible to build a good life for yourself
When I consider my life at the moment, it's really pretty good. I'm happily married, make plenty of money, and live in my favorite place in the world. For years now, I've been in a position where I can do pretty much whatever I want. It wasn't always that way though.
Self help & motivationCommon sense is over-rated
One thing that's held as a deep belief by many people is the wisdom of 'common-sense' or 'conventional wisdom'. They hold it up as the ultimate truth to which we all should aspire.
Self help & motivationTake some time to reflect on how astonishing it all is
Sometimes we all feel as if we're living grey little lives. We want to be moving galaxies, but instead we're stuck in traffic, feeling ill, assigned boring tasks, or filling in tax returns. No wonder everyone feels a bit down every now and again.
Self help & motivationDon't justify bad deeds by comparing yourself to others
There's a psychological trap which pretty much everyone is in danger of falling into at some time or another. It's a mind-trick we use on ourselves to justify deeds we're not proud of. We simply compare ourselves to others who've done something worse.
Self help & motivationThe world is made up of systems
Everywhere you look in the universe, you see systems. There's solar systems, atomic systems and energy systems. On Earth, we have evolution, the climate, and food chains. And humans have superimposed on top of these natural systems such things as legal systems, political systems and financial systems.
Self help & motivationTime is short
My father died of cancer at the age of 59. He had a fairly healthy lifestyle. He didn't smoke, ate well, exercised and drank moderately. Yet still he died at a relatively young age. It can happen to anyone at any time really.
Self help & motivationGet yourself some allies
People I know who are introverted often tell me they don't really understand why outgoing people expend so much time and effort on socialising. They see it all as being a bit shallow and a waste of effort. But I think they miss the point in a lot of ways.

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