Lifehacks







Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past

Saturday, 21 April 2007

Life isn't always easy. I'm sure I don't have to convince you of that. We all face tragedies and make mistakes. That's just part of existing on this planet.

But at the same time, we're all provided with opportunities and good times. It's a mix of the bitter and the sweet.

Part of being successful and happy in life, I believe, is to be able to move on from the tragedies of the past. And we all have them. Sure some of us get it worse than others, but you have to play with the cards life deals you. If you've been dumped by your lover, been a victim of crime, failed in business, or lost a friend, then you're just one of the multitude. We all face such challenges and sometimes worse.

It's the people who can pick themselves up, after an understandable period of mourning, and refocus themselves back on the future who are likely to find happiness. We are human, and need time to recover from setbacks, but it's a mistake to let them consume you.

I've travelled extensively and met all sorts of people in my time. The difference between those who are happy and those who aren't is often not to do with circumstances, but with attitude. The ones who can shrug off life's difficulties and work towards something better in the future are the ones who are smiling. They feel a quiet confidence, that they can still find a little goodness and light.

Others I meet can let one negative event in their lives destroy any chance of happiness. They turn the bad things that happened to them over and over in their minds until the world appears dark and brutal. Perhaps they've been through a messy divorce or lost their lucrative career. Perhaps they've had a health problem, or suffered as a victim of crime. Whatever it is, they just don't seem to be able to move on. Their entire life is viewed through the lens of the problems from the past.

You can see this also at play in certain peoples. Those is some countries can't escape from ancient crimes they feel were perpetrated against them. They live their entire lives attempting to correct what should long have been forgotten. Meanwhile, those in other countries seem to do little else but focus on the opportunities of the future. I'm sure you can find examples of each without having to think too hard.

Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past when living your own life. It's not always easy, but it's the most sane way to live. And, of course, it's your best hope of happiness.




Self help & motivationHow to find yourself
Along with the problem of trying to figure out how the world works, we also all have a similar problem of discovering exactly who it is we are. People are always surprising themselves with behavior they didn’t expect and thoughts they feel aren’t entirely in their control.
Self help & motivationGenerally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear
Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time.
Self help & motivationHow to get a job paying more than $100,000 a year
How do people get themselves into a position of earning good incomes at young ages? Why do some people work hard for minimum wage while others have cushy jobs that are well-paid? Most importantly, how can you become one of the latter?
Self help & motivationBecoming more self-absorbed probably isn't going to solve your problems
There are many books and articles written about how to improve your life. Many focus on changing what's going on inside your head. They want you to think more positively, change your inner conversation, and carefully examine your past. In general, they have one thing in common, they want you to become more self-absorbed.
Self help & motivationThe easiest way to fool smart people
There’s a saying among con-men that smart people are easier targets, because they don’t think they can be conned. I’m not sure if that’s true, but there’s one scam that’s almost guaranteed to make smart people switch off their brains and reach for their wallets.
Self help & motivationYou can't trust people with money
What is it with money that makes otherwise good people lose all moral perspective? The dubious real-estate agent may well be a good and trustworthy friend away from the office, but he'll tell his clients anything to get a few extra dollars out of them.
Self help & motivationEvidence that success comes from self-discipline
An interesting experiment on the nature of success was started by psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 1960s. He decided to test the self-discipline of children at an early age, then trace their relative success as their lives went on.
Self help & motivationIf you have a problem, look in the mirror first for its source
Consider the following scenario. Mr Smith has been a dedicated employee at a big company for over fifteen years. He has a mortgage, two children at private school, and a nice car, all paid for with debt.
Self help & motivationUnderstanding the games people play
A very interesting book, for anyone who's interested in the psychology of human relationships, is Games People Play by Eric Berne. Dr Berne is a psychiatrist who developed the theory of transactional analysis, which looks at the ways people interact with one another. Specifically, he's interested in the psychological games people play.
Self help & motivationWhatever you say or do in this world, someone will strongly disapprove
Wouldn't it be great if everyone just loved us and thought everything we did and said was right? What an easy life that would be. Unfortunately, this isn't going to happen any time soon. Pretty much anything you do or say is going to make somebody angry, upset, or despairing of your intelligence and sanity.

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