Lifehacks







People are flawed, deal with it

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Like most people, I've had all kinds of disappointments and things that make me angry in life. Sometimes, I just can't believe that the world can be as cruel as it appears.

When I think about the single biggest factor that has shocked and disappointed me most about reality, it almost always comes back to things people have done. Those who I thought were friends have betrayed me, those I thought I could trust have cheated me, or those I thought cared have neglected me. This, above all else, has been a source of misery to me on many occasions.

But I'm beginning to figure the whole thing out.

I think I, like most of us, have pretty high expectations of the people I interact with. I've built up this framework of rules and morals that I expect them to follow, because those are the rules and morals I myself try to follow. But I think this is naive. Most people just do whatever the heck they want. And if my interests happen to conflict with theirs ... well too bad for me. This seems to be the case even if they're people who appear to really like me and show loyalty.

The people we share this Earth with aren't angels or gods. They're not born particularly good or noble. They're all flawed to some extent, just like you and me.

We humans like to think we're some kind of higher beings, and in some ways we are. You just have to listen to some of the music we've produced, the books we've written and the science problems we've solved. But all this is just a fraction of who we really are.

The truth is that most of us are petty, shallow and self-obsessed much of the time. We don't focus on the problems that are noble, but those that come from our most base desires. We seek love, status and material comfort above all else, and God help anyone who gets in our way. That's just the way the vast majority of us are, and to pretend otherwise is just wishful thinking.

I'm not saying you should hate people, hide from them or treat them with nonstop suspicion. There's all sorts of things about most of us that are lovable, wise and trustworthy. I am saying not to go too far in your appreciation of humanity's finer points. Realize that we're all flawed and capable of selfish and destructive acts.

That's just the way life is. And as regular readers know, I think basing your decisions of unpleasant truths is a much smarter way to go than dressing things up in pretty lies.




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Why do people do so many things that are so obviously stupid? Why do they take drugs, commit crimes, ruin good relationships, and spend money they don't have?
Self help & motivationScience is the closest thing to verifiable truth that we have
Wait! If you're the type of person who reads the word "science" in a title then moves quickly on, then this is an article you need to read. I promise it won't be boring.
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Most of us realise that the people we deal with in everyday life often aren't rational. They behave in ways that bewilder. They do things that seem immoral, stupid and not in their own interests. They hold beliefs that just seem crazy.
Self help & motivationThe world is filled with opportunity
A few years back, I was doing some computer contracting for one of the biggest banks in the world. One day, an email was sent around by management requesting the entire information technology department attend a meeting in the conference room.
Self help & motivationThe secret of wealth is working easier, not harder
Want to get rich? Just work hard and you will is the conventional wisdom. But the conventional wisdom is wrong. Since the dawn of humanity, the road to wealth has been through working easier, not harder.
Self help & motivationGet over your fear of failure
Nothing stings quite like failing. This is especially true when it happens in front of people we like and admire. Our ears go red, our face feels hot, and we swear "I'll never do that again".
Self help & motivationCut all your credit-cards in half
I've never owned a credit-card. Most people are pretty surprised when I tell them that. They look at me like I've just said I've never had a glass of Coke or made a phone-call.
Self help & motivationUnderstand the true nature of reality
Your life will never be perfect, but you can certainly make it better than it is now. The first step to achieving this is learning to understand the true nature of reality. It’s only by understanding the situation we find ourselves in, that we can do something about it. In fact, many of the great scientific and technical achievements of humanity prove this point.
Self help & motivationWe all have moments of worry and doubt
Let's face it, everyone wakes up sometimes and just feels down. The world loses its shine and you wonder why you even bother with it all. Worry and doubt lays itself over your psyche like a heavy snowfall.
Self help & motivationBe willing to crash and burn sometimes
We all have trouble dealing with failure. We play so many mental tricks on ourselves in order to pretend we aren't avoiding it, that they can sometimes become all consuming. At night, while asleep, we have terrible nightmares of others disapproval, or the world rejecting us.

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