|
How to motivate yourself without the mental crutch of positive thinking
A few people have written in to say they think I'm too hard on positive thinking. I've been criticized because I haven't supplied an alternative for self-motivation. Fair enough. Here's how to motivate yourself without having to resort to the problem-filled strategy of positive thinking.
Firstly, I'd like to expand a bit on what I think the problem is with positive thinking. Basically, the way I see it, positive thinking boils down to lying to yourself. You try to ignore any negative assessments you make of the world, and fill yourself with "positive energy" or some such nonsense.
How can you make good decisions by lying to yourself?
Positive thinking just seems like a way of pretending problems aren't there to me. This isn't a good way to live your life. You wouldn't want your accountant, lawyer, plumber or doctor to pretend problems didn't exist. But for some reason it's okay if you do it to yourself.
And I can see the proof of the damage it does all around me. Detox clinics are full of positive thinkers who thought they'd be strong enough to deal with the side-effects of recreational drugs. Prisons are full of positive thinkers who thought they could get away with it. Morgues and hospitals see too many young drivers whose positive thinking and self-belief gets them into car accidents.
But despite all these negatives, positive thinking does have one advantage - it can be motivating. If you believe you can do it, like the little engine who could, then you're more likely to try.
But what if there was a better alternative? Something that gave the motivational benefits of positive thinking without the bad information side-effects?
Fortunately such a strategy exists. It's more motivational than positive thinking can ever hope to be, and doesn't involve lying to yourself. It can be summed up in one, simple word.
Ambition.
Ambition is the greatest motivator known to man. Whenever you meet successful people who've made their own luck, ambition is the constant characteristic you'll find. It drives people to overcome the obstacles of life like nothing else on Earth.
It's the burning, desperate ambition inside the world's most successful people that causes them to reach such great heights. It's hunger for the prize that pushes a world-class sportsperson to get up at five in the morning for a ten mile run in the rain. It's the urgent need for a better world that motivates a great scientist to defy conventional wisdom and make exciting new discoveries.
It's been said that most politicians would crawl over broken glass to gain more power and a celebrity will do anything to hold onto their fame. That's how motivating ambition can be.
Contrary to popular wisdom, it's often self-doubt rather than self-belief that drives the ambitious to push themselves that little bit harder. A Wimbeldon finalist doesn't train ten hours a day because she's sure she'll win. Instead, she worries that, when she step up to the line for the first serve of the most important game of her life, the other girl's going to outclass her. She's so desperate to make sure that doesn't happen, that she'll do anything to prevent it.
That's what ambition does to you.
Form a picture in your head of what you want out of life and where you want to go. Think big and aim high. Want it so badly you can almost taste it. Fill yourself with a desire for the prize, and a willingness to do what's necessary to grab it. That's the way to become ambitious.
I've perhaps made this strategy sound a little unpleasant, and it can be. It's an unfortunate fact of life that the paths to the best rewards are often filled with difficulty, self-doubt and struggle. But these problems are nothing compared to the wonderful feeling you get for having overcome them.
Ambition is hard, but the rewards are the best on offer anywhere.
 | Emotions are like muscles, you need to work them out | | It’s amazing how much of our lives are controlled by our emotions. In fact, it could be said that pretty much everything we do is in pursuit of some sort of emotional comfort. If you’re hungry, lonely or cold, your emotions are going to let you know by making you feel miserable. This is generally a good thing. |  | If investments become cheaper, and you’re a buyer, that’s a good thing | | In the last few years, stock markets around the world have been hammered. Currencies have also fallen to historic lows. People see their portfolios down and are running scared. |  | A key secret of effectiveness | | What is effectiveness exactly? It's a special term that can sell a million books, and make or break a commercial enterprise. It's a key difference between the average and the successful in this life. And the main secret of it is as simple as it is powerful. | | How your identity can hold you back | | We all have this picture inside our heads of who we are. And let's face it, for most of us, we're probably a little bit more generous than reality warrants. Who doesn't secretly believe that they may be a little smarter, more attractive, and more moral than those around them? |  | We are defined by our ignorance | | What defines us as human beings? All sorts of things. But one key quality stands out above almost all others - our complete and utter ignorance. It's the human condition - we know so little about who we are and how the world works, that it almost cripples us. | | Take responsibility for your actions | | Let me tell you a few things about my childhood. When I was seven years old, my parents divorced. They had been fighting many years, and it's difficult for me to remember them ever being in love. |  | Be willing to crash and burn sometimes | | We all have trouble dealing with failure. We play so many mental tricks on ourselves in order to pretend we aren't avoiding it, that they can sometimes become all consuming. At night, while asleep, we have terrible nightmares of others disapproval, or the world rejecting us. | | The conditions are never going to be ideal to get started | | What's interesting about the question "What can I do to improve my life?" is that most people already know the answer. They know what's missing and often exactly which steps they have to take to fix the problem. So why don't they just do it? | | Much of what we see as real exists only in our heads | | Humans are incredibly imaginative creatures. We are constantly coming up with new ideas and re-examining old ones. We are filled with ideas that hold a powerful sway over us, even though many of them have no real existence outside our own heads. | | Don't get too easily discouraged | | Occasionally, you may come across someone who appears as if they were born an expert in something. Perhaps it's sport, meeting people, business or family. Some of us just seem to be stars, while others are common. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|