|
Become expert at identifying your own weaknesses
Wednesday, 21 June 2006
We live in a society that promotes the cult of self-esteem. Anything goes as long as we feel great about ourselves, or so we're led to think. Believing we may have flaws is a big no-no and certain to have a negative impact on our success.
To my mind, this kind of thinking is just silly.
Believing we are superhuman and without fault is just asking for trouble and mediocrity. If you find you have trouble doing things because you don't believe enough in your abilities, then work on improving your abilities, not your self-image. The better your skills are, the more successful you're likely to be. Self-esteem comes naturally after this.
And if you're going to work on improving your abilities, you should prioritize so your efforts bring maximum benefit. The best way to do this is to work on your weaknesses first. And to do that you'll have to get good at spotting your own flaws.
This is not easy to do. People tend to over-estimate their aptitude in a number of areas. We like to concentrate on doing what we're good at, and sweeping the rest under the carpet. That's why you so often meet people who are geniuses in one area, but dunces in another. Think of the brilliant scientists who are socially inept.
So spend some time regularly and honestly examining yourself to pinpoint your flaws. Look for faults and weaknesses that are badly affecting your happiness. Sometimes it helps to write them down or ask someone else. It can also be a big help to look at areas in your life where you're being ineffective.
- Do you tend to have bad relationships and get into disagreements a lot? Then you probably have weak interpersonal skills.
- Are you always broke and in debt? Then your financial skills could probably do with some work.
- Is your career doing badly? If so it's probably time to build up your occupational skills.
- Are you an emotional wreck? Your emotional resilience probably needs some improvement.
- And so on.
Of course, this isn't easy. Being honest enough with ourselves to admit our faults - and believe me, we all have some big ones - is very difficult. And improving in areas we're weak at can be very difficult - the equivalent of trying to lift something with muscles we haven't used much.
Once you've identified your faults, make a conscious effort to improve on them. Make a plan, either in your head or on paper, for turning those weaknesses into strengths.
Being brave enough to undertake this task can make a huge difference to the amount of satisfaction you get out of life. And improving is only difficult in the beginning. Usually, after I've undertaken this task, I look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. Like everything, taking steps to improve your abilities in a particular area becomes easier with time.
Concentrating on only further improving what you're already good at is likely to lead you to having a distorted personality and skillset. This will almost certainly cause you problems. Rather than limiting your strengths to only a few, expand them to be many. Stretch yourself by putting your improvement effort where you will receive the biggest rewards.
 | Spend some time living in another country | | Many people will read the title of this article and dismiss the advice as too impractical or scary. What could be more difficult than upping-sticks and moving to another country? Yet I'm convinced that in most cases, those who do so for a time find that it contributes substantially to their well-being. Here are some reasons why. |  | Don't be a believer in fast and easy solutions to life's big problems | | We all face big problems in this life. Things that dominate our psyche for a time and conspire to make us miserable. Nobody escapes at least some of these types of challenges. |  | Are you one of the 95% trapped in a financial prison? | | Most people in free countries still have one master with absolute control over their existence - money. No matter how much we like to pretend it doesn't matter, our financial situation has a powerful hold over us. |  | What to do about things that are out of your control | | Despite what some would have us believe, there are large numbers of things that affect us in this life that are completely out of our control. What natural abilities we're born with, which family we're born into, what happens with the economy in our country and of course death are all things we're pretty much completely powerless over. |  | Relationships are what really matter in life | | I've experienced a lot of stuff in my time. I'm been a poor student and a rich professional. I've lived in Europe, Asia, North America and Australia. I've read a ton of books, seen thousands of movies, and tried out just about every amusement known to man. | | It's okay to be afraid | | We all get scared sometimes. It's just part of us to feel a little fear from time to time. Even silly things that we feel adults shouldn't be afraid of sometimes just get us all anxious. This is perfectly normal. |  | Improvement usually requires suffering | | We all want to be better people. We want to be smarter, wiser, stronger and more beautiful. Look at any magazine rack in any supermarket, and you'll see that self-improvement is on a lot of people's minds. | | How to improve your imagination and creativity | | There are all sorts of strategies that are talked about for improving your imagination. Free-form flowing, lateral thinking and "thinking outside the box" whatever the heck that means. | | Develop additional sources of income | | I was once doing a contract for one of the largest investment banks in the world, when something horrible happened. I'd been there a few months and had got to know a few of the other people. In general, they were nice, dedicated, hardworking people. Many of them had mortgages, families and other commitments. | | Life is serious, but it's also ridiculous | | We're all stuck in the middle of this life, and are forced to take it very seriously. If we don't, reality will soon show us the folly of doing so. But take a minute sometimes to take a step back from the day-to-day battles and look at just how ridiculous it all is. If we weren't stuck right smack-bang in the middle of it all, human existence would seem so absurd as to be outrageous.
|
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|