|
Small things can make a big difference
Friday, 20 October 2006
Back in 1995, when I went to England for the first time, I caught up with a girl I used to do a course with in Canberra. We didn't know each other that well at the time, but we'd become friends and stayed in touch. She moved to England about a year before me and was working as a nanny in Windsor.
This was in the days before most people had email addresses. When she heard I was coming over to England, she sent me her phone number in a letter and told me to give her a call when I arrived.
So that's what I did, and we spent a nice day together wandering around Windsor. I'd planned to travel around Europe for six months after that, and told her I'd contact her again when I got back.
Six months later, I tried to call her at the same phone number, and spoke to the lady who'd employed my friend as a nanny. She told me my friend didn't live there anymore, and she didn't have any contact details for her.
"Oh, well," I thought, "she knows my parents address and I'm sure we'll meet again some time in the future. Maybe when we're both back in Australia."
Just as I was about to hang up, the lady told me her husband was calling out something to her. I waited a few moments, and she came back with my friend's news phone number, which her husband had given to her. Apparently she didn't know he had it. She gave me the number and we said goodbye.
I didn't know it at the time, but the fact that her husband had overheard the conversation and interrupted was to change the entire course of my life.
Earlier on the same day, I'd tried to book a ticket home to Australia. I'd planned to spend six months living in London, but had a few bad experiences looking for jobs and places to live. It was pretty clear to me I'd be working long hours in boring employment while living in virtual poverty. London is a very expensive place and not much fun if you're at the bottom of the pile.
It was just before Christmas, and I'd been told all the flights were booked out until mid-February. I wanted to go earlier than that, but had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'd be stuck in Europe for a couple more months. I still had some money in the bank, so it wasn't that big a deal - I figured I'd just do a bit more travelling.
So I called my friend, now that I had the number, and went out to visit her in Windsor the next day. It turned out she'd moved into a guest house for young people. She told me there was a spare room, and I should come and live there for a bit - as it was much cheaper than London and there were lots of jobs.
So that's what I did. I ended up staying for two years.
That's where I met my wife and got my first big break in information technology. I wasn't even intending to work in that field and would probably be in a different area now if it wasn't for that. I'd certainly be married to a different person, or maybe not even married at all.
Almost all the most important parts of my current life stem from those two years in Windsor. And if I hadn't been given my friend's new phone number by her ex-employer's husband, I would never have ended up living there.
If things had turned out differently during that phone-call, for example the husband being out of earshot, I'd certainly be living a very different life now.
It always amazes me, looking back, how turning points like this are reached. How seemingly inconsequential events can have a huge impact on outcomes.
Of course this happens in nature, financial markets, and politics as well. It's popularly known at the "butterfly effect", where a butterfly flapping its wings in one place can cause a tornado in others. The more you look at the world, the more you notice how small things can make a big difference.
This is the main reason why most important outcomes are extremely unpredictable. Things almost always turn out differently from what anyone expects, because seemingly meaningless events can drastically impact entire systems.
Because of that, I think people who talk about setting long-term life-plans - and writing down where you want to be in ten years to the finest level of detail - are just silly.
All sorts of things about your life, and the environment you live in, will change in unpredictable ways over any period of time. Challenges and opportunities that you never expected will present themselves. To rigidly stick to some kind of life-plan under such circumstances is just asking for trouble.
Instead, you should prepare yourself to meet challenges and take advantage of opportunities, however they may present themselves. Success in life is about being adaptable, and having the resources to allow you to do that.
Expect the unexpected, and prepare for it the best you can.
 | Get yourself some allies | | People I know who are introverted often tell me they don't really understand why outgoing people expend so much time and effort on socialising. They see it all as being a bit shallow and a waste of effort. But I think they miss the point in a lot of ways. |  | Enough hyperventilating about AdSense | | There's been a popular theme on lots of blogs lately about how much money there is to be made from Google's AdSense advertising program. For those not in the know, this basically involves earning money from Google ads like the ones on this site. Now AdSense is a great program, and I'm happy to make some good spending money from it every month. |  | What's the worst that could happen? | | Sometimes, I have dreams that I'm being chased. Often I'm not even really sure what it is that's pursuing me. All I know is that I'm running away from something that's right on my tail - just about to catch me with terrible consequences. |  | Focus on the problem, not on the person | | We all face challenges every day. Things in the world are seldom exactly as we want them, and we spend a large part of our lives trying to change that situation. | | Don't get sucked into destructive games | | As a follow up to my story on the games people play, I thought I'd explore a couple of incidents that have happened to me lately and how I tried to resolve them. My aim is to avoid getting sucked into the destructive games that many people insist on playing. |  | Become expert at identifying your own weaknesses | | We live in a society that promotes the cult of self-esteem. Anything goes as long as we feel great about ourselves, or so we're led to think. Believing we may have flaws is a big no-no and certain to have a negative impact on our success. |  | The world hates the weak | | About a decade ago, I had a job at a government office. My work mates were the enlightened and knowledgeable types that you often meet in such places. Their political views were generally what's considered progressive and many of them were involved in charity work. | | Why not to be a show-off | | We all want to be recognized for the good things we are or the great things we've done in this life. What's the point of being smart, beautiful, charismatic or strong if you can't be appreciated for it? | | Increase the difficulty level | | I've just got back from a fantastic week's skiing in Queenstown, New Zealand. If you've never been there, it's really one of the world's most beautiful spots. I got in a good five days skiing, and I think I improved my style quite a bit. |  | A neat trick for dealing with anxiety | | When I was younger, I used to get anxious a lot. I think this is partly to do with the fact that being a teenager is just a stressful time, but also because I hadn't learned to deal with anxiety. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|