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Perfect contentment leads to stagnation
Tuesday, 20 March 2007
Have a look at how so many of us live our lives. We get up in the morning, go out all day and work, work, work. Whether in a rich country or a poor one, a good neighbourhood or bad, you can be sure that most of the people around you will be working most of the time.
Yet many of us don't enjoy working. We whine about how boring or difficult our jobs are. We purchase labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and washing-machines. Many people wish they could win the lottery so they can save themselves from what they see as a life of drudgery.
Yet, at the same time, many people who appear to have everything are miserable. They wallow around in their big houses with their good looks and perfect health, eventually turning to drugs to fill what they see as an empty life.
Others who have more than anybody could possibly want - billionaires and the like - seem dissatisfied also. They work harder than ever to expand their empires and their influence.
Looking at all this, you have to wonder sometimes - just what the heck is it that we humans want from the world? Obviously material comfort alone isn't enough to satisfy us.
The answer seems to me that we want challenges. Not artificial ones, but real challenges - in love, in business, in health. But we want them in such a way that we feel we are capable of overcoming them.
Thus, the challenges that a poor, rural child in The Philippines faces - hunger, disease, exploitation - aren't the type we particularly want. But the challenges the rich have are desirable to us.
Becoming the most popular girl at school is a challenge that occupies many an American teenager. How to turn $10 billion into $20 billion is a challenge that fills the lives of some famous businessmen. Curiously, the rewards for completing these probably wouldn't be as satisfying, on a purely lifestyle level, as those of the poor child in the Philippines moving into a comfortable middle-class existence. But they provide meaning to living nevertheless. And they are cruel and ruthless - real challenges.
We all wish our problems would go away, but if they did so completely we'd probably find something missing from our lives. Perfect contentment leads to stagnation, and that is a psychological burden as large as many of the problems the world provides us with.
We are all, in many way, problem-solving machines. It's what we like to do. That's why we create seemingly pointless pursuits for ourselves - crossword puzzles, marathons, video games. We need something to challenge us in order to make us feel alive.
 | How to find yourself | | Along with the problem of trying to figure out how the world works, we also all have a similar problem of discovering exactly who it is we are. People are always surprising themselves with behavior they didn’t expect and thoughts they feel aren’t entirely in their control. |  | Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear | | Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time. |  | How to get a job paying more than $100,000 a year | | How do people get themselves into a position of earning good incomes at young ages? Why do some people work hard for minimum wage while others have cushy jobs that are well-paid? Most importantly, how can you become one of the latter? |  | Becoming more self-absorbed probably isn't going to solve your problems | | There are many books and articles written about how to improve your life. Many focus on changing what's going on inside your head. They want you to think more positively, change your inner conversation, and carefully examine your past. In general, they have one thing in common, they want you to become more self-absorbed. |  | The easiest way to fool smart people | | There’s a saying among con-men that smart people are easier targets, because they don’t think they can be conned. I’m not sure if that’s true, but there’s one scam that’s almost guaranteed to make smart people switch off their brains and reach for their wallets. |  | You can't trust people with money | | What is it with money that makes otherwise good people lose all moral perspective? The dubious real-estate agent may well be a good and trustworthy friend away from the office, but he'll tell his clients anything to get a few extra dollars out of them. |  | Evidence that success comes from self-discipline | | An interesting experiment on the nature of success was started by psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University in the 1960s. He decided to test the self-discipline of children at an early age, then trace their relative success as their lives went on. |  | If you have a problem, look in the mirror first for its source | | Consider the following scenario. Mr Smith has been a dedicated employee at a big company for over fifteen years. He has a mortgage, two children at private school, and a nice car, all paid for with debt. |  | Understanding the games people play | | A very interesting book, for anyone who's interested in the psychology of human relationships, is Games People Play by Eric Berne. Dr Berne is a psychiatrist who developed the theory of transactional analysis, which looks at the ways people interact with one another. Specifically, he's interested in the psychological games people play. |  | Whatever you say or do in this world, someone will strongly disapprove | | Wouldn't it be great if everyone just loved us and thought everything we did and said was right? What an easy life that would be. Unfortunately, this isn't going to happen any time soon. Pretty much anything you do or say is going to make somebody angry, upset, or despairing of your intelligence and sanity. |
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