|
Perfect contentment leads to stagnation
Have a look at how so many of us live our lives. We get up in the morning, go out all day and work, work, work. Whether in a rich country or a poor one, a good neighbourhood or bad, you can be sure that most of the people around you will be working most of the time.
Yet many of us don't enjoy working. We whine about how boring or difficult our jobs are. We purchase labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and washing-machines. Many people wish they could win the lottery so they can save themselves from what they see as a life of drudgery.
Yet, at the same time, many people who appear to have everything are miserable. They wallow around in their big houses with their good looks and perfect health, eventually turning to drugs to fill what they see as an empty life.
Others who have more than anybody could possibly want - billionaires and the like - seem dissatisfied also. They work harder than ever to expand their empires and their influence.
Looking at all this, you have to wonder sometimes - just what the heck is it that we humans want from the world? Obviously material comfort alone isn't enough to satisfy us.
The answer seems to me that we want challenges. Not artificial ones, but real challenges - in love, in business, in health. But we want them in such a way that we feel we are capable of overcoming them.
Thus, the challenges that a poor, rural child in The Philippines faces - hunger, disease, exploitation - aren't the type we particularly want. But the challenges the rich have are desirable to us.
Becoming the most popular girl at school is a challenge that occupies many an American teenager. How to turn $10 billion into $20 billion is a challenge that fills the lives of some famous businessmen. Curiously, the rewards for completing these probably wouldn't be as satisfying, on a purely lifestyle level, as those of the poor child in the Philippines moving into a comfortable middle-class existence. But they provide meaning to living nevertheless. And they are cruel and ruthless - real challenges.
We all wish our problems would go away, but if they did so completely we'd probably find something missing from our lives. Perfect contentment leads to stagnation, and that is a psychological burden as large as many of the problems the world provides us with.
We are all, in many way, problem-solving machines. It's what we like to do. That's why we create seemingly pointless pursuits for ourselves - crossword puzzles, marathons, video games. We need something to challenge us in order to make us feel alive.
 | Emotions are like muscles, you need to work them out | | It’s amazing how much of our lives are controlled by our emotions. In fact, it could be said that pretty much everything we do is in pursuit of some sort of emotional comfort. If you’re hungry, lonely or cold, your emotions are going to let you know by making you feel miserable. This is generally a good thing. |  | If investments become cheaper, and you’re a buyer, that’s a good thing | | In the last few years, stock markets around the world have been hammered. Currencies have also fallen to historic lows. People see their portfolios down and are running scared. |  | Don't fall into the habit of finding excuses not to take action | | Sometimes it's good not to take action. It's just not called for under some circumstances and can actually make things worse. I've written about this before. |  | The best way to influence the behavior of others | | We are all dependent on one another. We need other people and they need us in order to live the best lives we can. But other people are generally outside of our control. So one of the biggest problem anyone faces is how to get others to behave in the way we want them to. | | What to do when you've made a life-shatteringly bad decision | | Let's face it, despite our often high opinions of ourselves, we're all human really. There's not a person on this planet who hasn't made an incredibly stupid decision at some stage that's had life-changing consequences. You'll certainly make such a dumb call yourself some day, as will I and everybody else. | | It's extremely difficult to change people | | Most of us have someone in our life we'd like to change. It might be a lover, a child, a boss, or a neighbor. We try every trick at our disposal to meet that end, but in general we are likely to fail. | | Throw yourself in the deep end | | We're all afraid of things we haven't experienced before. We'd like to take a more responsible job, but we're not sure we can deal with it. We'd like to meet new people, but we're afraid that they won't like us. We'd like to try out a new activity, but we're worried about making a fool out of ourselves. |  | If you don't know, say so | | Three of the hardest words for many people to say are: "I don't know". In fact, many of the problems in human history have been caused through our aversion to these words. How come? |  | The transition periods are often the most difficult | | Someone I know quite well once discovered that his wife of five years was seeing another man behind his back. He found out when she suddenly announced she was leaving him for her new beau. He was out of town at the time, and when he returned he found most of the furniture in his house missing. | | Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term | | I've previously looked at how to get a short-term "hit" of happiness. Now I'll explore the more important subject of long-term happiness. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|