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Make the unknown known
Friday, 19 October 2007
What prevents us from doing what we know we should? What is the root cause of procrastination? Why is it that even when we can clearly see what needs to be done, still we're paralysed?
These are difficult questions. And of course, there's no simple answer. But I think a lot of the cause of procrastination lies in fear of the unknown.
Think about the history of humanity. Whoever or whatever designed us, we clearly weren't built with the modern world in mind. There's a lot of physical evidence showing for the vast majority of human history we lived a much simpler existence. Indeed, there are tribes of hunter-gatherers living such existences today.
That's what our designer had in mind for us - from a tribesperson in Africa to the head of a multinational corporation. To live a simple, tribal life. To see the same small group of people every day, and do the same tasks time after time.
But of course, most of us don't live such lives today. We're surrounded by strangers. Our jobs grow ever-more comlpicated. Our lives get filled up with so much stuff it's difficult to keep track.
All around us the unknown looms like a cold, black shadow. It may be that stranger who starts talking to you at a party, or the tax return you have no idea how to complete. There's so many complex things around us that it's easy just to shut-down and try to ignore them.
Yet tackling the unknown is where most personal growth lies. It's the most important path to success.
Once, Roger Federer would never have held a tennis racquet in his hand. He would have had no idea which way a ball would bounce at him as it came across the net. Everything about the game would have been alien to him.
Yet over years of practice, the millions of unknowns about the game of tennis became known to him. He tried again and again until he could predict with confidence exactly where the ball would bounce, where to hit it to disadvantage his opponent, and which position to stand in to maximise his power.
This analogy can be transferred to almost all learned skills. You have to overcome your fear and hesitation of the strange. You have to get over your pride and risk humiliation. You have to face the burning realization that you're an amateur - inexperienced to the point of hopelessness.
And little by little you must build up a structure in your mind of how a particular field operates. Whether it's attracting members of the opposite sex, getting a good job, or excelling in a sport, this is the strategy you must take.
Face the big scary shadow of the unknown. And push back on it until it lifts to reveal the landscape underneath.
 | Look for the underlying pattern | | We humans are pattern-spotting machines. The world can often seem complex and random, but if you look under the covers, you can sometimes find an underlying pattern for its behaviour. In fact, it's the discovery of such patterns that have driven our development forward in many areas. |  | Don't get too easily discouraged | | Occasionally, you may come across someone who appears as if they were born an expert in something. Perhaps it's sport, meeting people, business or family. Some of us just seem to be stars, while others are common. | | Test yourself out on the real world | | Each of us lives in two different places. The real world in which our bodies are firmly anchored, and a shadow-world of fantasies, rules-of-thumb and strategies that flows in the space between our ears. | | Fill your life up with interesting stuff | | We all feel a bit down sometimes. "To be or not to be, that is the question;" Shakespeare's Hamlet famously said. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer, The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing, end them." |  | My eight best negotiation tips | | Negotiation is a part of life we all have to deal with. Being able to do so successfully can make a big difference to our outcomes. Here are eight tips that have helped me. | | Is there something you want? Why not ask for it? | | One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it. |  | Understanding the games people play | | A very interesting book, for anyone who's interested in the psychology of human relationships, is Games People Play by Eric Berne. Dr Berne is a psychiatrist who developed the theory of transactional analysis, which looks at the ways people interact with one another. Specifically, he's interested in the psychological games people play. | | Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear | | Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time. | | Be adaptable in a changing world | | When I look and listen to the people around me, I get the impression that many of them are terribly afraid of change. You can see it in the way they cling desperately to a job they hate, keep friends who are obviously bad for them, and stay in abusive relationships. | | It's not going to just fall into your lap | | I meet a lot of people who are dissatisfied with their lives. They feel they don't have enough money, enough love or enough recognition. They see others around them getting all the rewards while they're passed by for the good things in life. |
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