|
Find something to live for
Friday, 19 May 2006
I've just finished reading Viktor Frankl's “Man’s Search for Meaning”, which I think is a very interesting book. Frankl is a neurologist and psychiatrist who has developed a theory called Logotherapy.
The three core ideas of his theory are that life has meaning even under the worst imaginable circumstances; our core drive as humans is our search for meaning; and that we all have the freedom to discover what has meaning for us.
Frankl is a Jew who survived a number of years in a Nazi concentration camp. He provides graphic descriptions of the horrors of being a prisoner in these camps. Most people have a pretty good idea of what occurred during the Holocaust, so I’m not going to go into details of these descriptions. I will say, however, that such a personal view did help me to understand these events better.
The inmates at the camps were stripped of all personal possessions upon their arrival. Because of this Frankl lost the manuscript of a psychiatric theory he’d been developing before the Holocaust. He decided to use his experiences in the camp to further develop this theory. He was also determined to survive the experience and so he could record his findings.
He was thus able to use his theory about the importance of meaning in life in order to survive. That is, he gave meaning to his life even though he was living under the most miserable circumstances imaginable. Despite the near-certainty of death, the beatings, the hunger, and the cold, Frankl found a reason to go on.
This is the core of the human spirit, according to the theory. If we can find something to live for – if we can find some meaning to put at the center of our lives – even the worst kind of suffering becomes bearable.
In fact, meaning can even be found in our reaction to difficult circumstances. By being determined to preserve some measure of their humanity, in spite of the Nazi’s efforts to steal it away, many were able to survive the concentration camps.
An example of this in today’s world may be a mother who finds her life empty because her only son has committed suicide. It's still possible for her to find a purpose for her life, even in this terrible circumstance, by realizing that she is keeping a part of her son alive within her mind. Her child still has some existence through her memories of him. She can also find meaning in the quiet dignity with which she bears the pain.
Dr Frankl says many of his patients come to him with an idea of him providing meaning for them, but insists that this is generally not possible to do. Instead, it's up to each of us to discover what the meaning of our lives is for ourselves.
Perhaps there is something for you to create, or a child for you to rear, or someone for you to love. These are just suggestions to get you thinking.
There is one interesting section of the book where he states that modern culture makes this search more difficult than it used to be. For prehistoric man, mere survival was so difficult that it created meaning. Up until the 20th century, many people had meaning provided through the religion and traditions of their upbringing.
But Western societies now have a type of nihilism at their core. That is, they assume that life is meaningless and the universe is random. They are unable to provide us with the reason for being alive which we seek.
So, more than ever, the responsibility falls on ourselves to discover that meaning. We are the only ones who can find something that makes our lives seem worthwhile.
Dr Frankl describes an interesting occurrence in the concentration camp that can tell us a lot about modern life. He says the prisoners could always tell when one of them was going to die soon, because that person would start talking about how they could find no reason to go on living.
Often, according to Frankl, such a doomed prisoner would suddenly refuse to get up and leave their hut for work in the morning. They would simply lie on the floor in their own filth, and no amount of beatings or persuasion could get them to move. However, such prisoners could often be seen smoking a cigarette while lying there.
Even when they had chosen to give up on life, they still sought bodily pleasures.
While this is an extreme example, you can see echoes of it in the problems of many people today. Despite finding no real reason to live, many still continue to pursue cheap thrills. They take drugs, engage in loveless sex, and consume violent entertainment.
In fact, those who can find no meaning seem to chase such gratifications with a kind of desperate energy - as if they're trying to fill the emptiness inside.
I’ll offer one more example of finding meaning even in suffering that will probably resonate strongly with most people. The search for love can be a painful experience, filled with cruelty and doubt. But it also carries a deep lesson that can help add meaning to that suffering. It's difficult, because it’s love’s way of teaching us how valuable it is.
I’ve only just finished reading Dr Frankl’s book, so I am still digesting some of its lessons. Overall, however, I think his theories are very interesting and useful.
 | You can't always get what you want, and it's no bad thing | | I'm on holiday in the Philippines at the moment, and a local here told me an interesting thing. She said that in Australia, Britain and the US, all people did was work all the time because they weren't satisfied with their lives. Yet in the Philippines, she assured me, people are poor but happy. |  | Make yourself some allies | | A lot people don't see the point of putting in extra effort to make friends with those who cross their path. A waiter is there to serve me, a work colleague is there to help me, and a boss is there to direct me, they think. What's the point in trying to form any sort of meaningful connection with these people? |  | Don't let others manipulate you by making you feel uncomfortable | | We all want others to do things our way. If we can persuade those around us to somehow bend to our will, we feel that life's riches will be provided as a reward. So people can become very sneaky when it comes to trying to manipulate others. One of their most cunning tricks is to create uncomfortable situations that they hope you will be desperate to get out of. | | Something that makes people fearful and angry | | Why do some problems make people absolutely furious, while others seem to run off them like water off a duck's back? What is it that causes more fear and loathing than anything else? |  | Ideas are easy, implementing them is hard | | I've know a lot of intelligent people in my time - some of them highly intelligent. Yet many of them aren't much more successful than average. How come? | | Don't reward bad behavior in yourself and others | | Almost everyone has done things in life that they knew at the time were wrong. But sometimes, there seems to be an overwhelming force pushing towards what we know is going to be a bad outcome. Why can't we control ourselves? | | Six secrets of successful long-term relationships | | My wife and I have been in a very loving relationship for nine years now. During the same period, I've seen some friends' relationships start and fall apart. Here are my secrets for a successful long-term relationship. | | Increase the difficulty level | | I've just got back from a fantastic week's skiing in Queenstown, New Zealand. If you've never been there, it's really one of the world's most beautiful spots. I got in a good five days skiing, and I think I improved my style quite a bit. | | My favorite productivity tools | | Most of us want to get more done. The tools we come up with often help us to achieve this goal. Here are my favorite productivity tools. | | Resist the urge to criticize all the time | | People who criticize and complain constantly often think that they're serving some kind of public interest. By pointing out to everyone what's wrong with them and the world in general, they hope to improve things. It may be a comforting thought, but it's just plain wrong. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|