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With effort and inner-strength, you can be good at almost anything
Saturday, 18 November 2006
It's a cliche for writers like me to say "You can be anything you want to". I like to be a little different in most things, but on this one I agree to a large extent. With a little effort and inner-strength, most people can become way above average at almost anything.
Of course, world domination requires a little luck too, but being the very best is always an ultra-competitive field. With work and willpower, you can be up there even without the luck. And who knows, maybe you'll just push it over into the exclusive club of the mega-rich and famous.
Even if you don't make it up to those hallowed heights, being really good at things compared to your peers is definitely worth aspiring to. It comes with all sorts of cool rewards attached - money, respect, love, adoration. Who wouldn't want a bit more of that stuff in their lives?
I've hung out with a lot of people who are way above average in various fields over the years. And what I've discovered is that it's mostly about toil and determination. Even in areas most people think natural talent is key, you'll find a lot of work hidden behind all that feigned relaxation.
Take, for example, the field of being sexy. This is one that most people assume is all about what you're born with, but I'm not so sure. I've been close to beautiful people on many occasions, and one thing I can tell you is that they work at it.
The myth of the natural beauty is a powerful one, but in many cases it just isn't true. Most "sexy" people that I've known obsess over their looks. They watch their weight, exercise, get dental work done, spend money on their hair, and buy cool clothes. Hours are spent in front of the mirror.
They study hard to improve their knowledge. They read the right magazines and take an active interest in the areas that affect beauty - fashion, cosmetics, skin-care, posture and so on.
Much of it is learned, often from a young age.
Beauty, like many fields, is a closed shop. If you try and break in, you can be sure that those already on the inside are going to make life difficult for you.
Think about a high-school girl who's always been a bit frumpy. She wears poorly fitting clothes, dyes her hair blue, is a little overweight and has pimples. Suddenly, she starts exercising, putting on make-up, getting her hair done, and learning how to walk properly.
What's going to happen? For sure, all the pretty girls and boys will make life difficult for her.
"Ohhh sexy (not)!" they'll say. "Look who thinks she's some kind of princess! Ha! Ha Ha!"
Like most people, at this stage the girl will probably withdraw from the game altogether. She'll run away with her tail between her legs, go back to her previous appearance, and decide she'll never be sexy. She'll pretend that doing so is beneath her and she has so much more to offer the world elsewhere.
It's a shame, because if she kept up her routine, the taunts would almost certainly eventually turn to respect. It's hard to become an insider in any game, but not impossible.
It was the same when I wanted to get into information technology. All the insiders would laugh at me and act like I was an imposter. I put up with it, and they're not laughing any more.
This is the secret of success in almost any area. A lucky few will show promise when they're young, and never have to prove themselves, but most of the rest of us have to work. And by work, I mean it has to hurt. To become good at almost anything you have to prepared to feel:
- Confused
- Scared
- Like an imposter
- Humiliated by the insiders
- Bored
- Like it's all too hard
If these are the emotions you're facing, then you're almost certainly improving. The stronger they hit you, the more quickly you're going to become good.
And the best way to feel these emotions is to play with those who are better than you. Put up with the humiliation and embarrassment. Watch and learn from them. Study hard from the literature. This is the way to get good at things.
Of course, it would be great if we were all born perfect, but unfortunately none of us are. The path to talent is hot as hell, but on the other side is a little slice of paradise.
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