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Five facts of life to be a bit philosophical about
Sunday, 16 July 2006
There are a lot of things about the world that aren't as most of us would probably wish them to be. Why else do you think we're all working so hard to change it? There are some things we all need to learn to accept about reality.
You often see people beating their heads against the wall of these facts, hoping the blood they see is coming from the wall, when they'd be better off working around it. There are some things we just can't change.
Okay, here they are.
Most people will just do whatever the heck they want
Ahh, other people. They can lift us up to the heights of ecstasy or send us into violent rages. Their influence on our lives is profound, so of course we want to exercise some level of control over them.
“Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship", said Epicurus. John-Paul Sartre disagreed, concluding that: "Hell is other people".
People try all sorts of strategies to get power over those around them. They beg, threaten, persuade, attack, bargain and manipulate. All of these strategies can have some minor effect - but mostly other people have an annoying tendency to ignore us and simply do whatever they want.
Any plans you make which involve convincing others to behave in some exact fashion are likely to fail spectacularly. Build in a wide margin of error for the unpredictability and sheer stubbornness of our fellow humans.
We're all just stumbling around in the dark most of the time
Occasionally, I'll come across someone who thinks they've got a pretty good grip on what's going on around them. Teenagers have a real tendency to think they know it all, and some adults do also.
What can be very amusing is the spectacular disasters such attitudes can bring upon those who have them. It's as if the world is punishing them for their hubris.
Anyone with real brains and deep experience soon comes to appreciate just how little it is they actually know.
Reality has a nasty habit of surprising even the most expert of observers. Events and people are the most unpredictable of beasts. Whether it's the economy, politics, friends, customers, the weather, bosses, our health or anything else - we all have only the loosest of understandings about what's going on behind the scenes.
Of course, this doesn't mean you should throw your hands in the air and just quit. You can prepare yourself for the inevitability of the unexpected by increasing your skills, knowledge and experience. They can help you deal with things better when fate drops something nasty into your lap.
But never let yourself fall into the trap of thinking you know it all.
Even if you do everything in your power right, often things will still go wrong
One of the most upsetting things in life is when you do everything right and things still don't work out the way you'd hoped. You plan everything down to the finest detail and make sure it's all in place, but the outcome still goes pear-shaped.
Failure despite careful planning is something we all have to deal with. Even the most successful organizations and people usually only have a limited amount of hits. Many of the things they work hard to achieve just don't make it when exposed to the cold winds of reality.
When this happens to you, as it inevitably will, just accept it as part of working in the world. Put it down to a learning experience and figure out how you can be even better prepared next time.
Most people you fall in love with, won't feel the same way about you
Almost everyone wanders through life trying to find that special someone. Occasionally, we all meet somebody who seems to be a perfect fit - as if they'd been made just for us. Unfortunately, most of the time, that person turns out not to return our feelings.
Love is a very confusing and hurtful thing, but it can also be wonderful when everything goes right. For most people, only a tiny minority of those they feel attracted to will feel the same way in return. Even beautiful people often complain that those they meet are only interested in sex.
Beating yourself up too much about this point, or trying to change that special person's mind is usually futile. The vast majority of people we meet simply won't fall in love with us no matter what we do. It's a fact of life.
Fortunately, there's a minority that will, and we only need one to make us happy forever.
We're all just imperfect mortals
Wouldn't it be great to be Superman? To always be right, just, strong, intelligent and powerful. Unfortunately, we're all pretty far from that ideal.
Despite our spectacular achievements, humans are quite weak creatures when they care to look at themselves honestly. Our strength, morality, memory, intelligence, and health all fail us more often than we'd wish them to.
Don't criticize yourself too much when you make a mistake or find your abilities aren't as potent as you'd want them to be. Just resolve to improve yourself, and accept that you're only human like the rest of us.
So there you have them, my five facts of life to be a bit philosophical about. Whichever venture you undertake, try to work around these foundations, accepting them as facts. Pushing against them is likely to lead to failure.
Of course, there are many wonderful things about people and life besides those I've outlined above. Don't let the fact that everything's not perfect get you down too much. A lot of things are better than we could have imagined. And they're the ones you should pursue.
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