|
How people can pretend to know a lot about you
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
We can all be amazed at times by how much someone can know about us, even if they've rarely spoken to us before. They just seem to have some kind of intuition. Sometimes, they can even claim to be psychic or possess some other kind of supernatural skill.
In fact, listing off what sound like deep insights into somebody's personality is a relatively easy trick. Magicians can use it to fool people into thinking their minds are being read. Psychics, astrologers and the like do it all the time.
They simply use a cold reading script. This is just a bunch of truisms that everybody feels, but most individuals believe makes them unique.
Here is an example of a common script similar to that used by psychologist Bertram Forer: "You have a deep need for others to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be overly critical of yourself at times. You have a lot of unused capacity, which you haven't been able to turn to your advantage. While you have some weaknesses in your personality, you're generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worried and insecure inside. Sometimes, you have real doubts whether you've made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer some change and variety and feel locked in by limitations and restrictions. Some of your aspirations can be pretty unrealistic. Sometimes, you're extroverted and sociable, other times you're introverted and reserved".
Read the script above to many people, and they'll feel deeply that you're talking about them. They may even think you're some kind of psychological genius, or that you're blessed with supernatural powers. It's a great party trick, especially if you can dress it up with some kind of ritual and get the person alone.
Even easier are the truisms that relate to a person at specific times in their lives. For example, if you see that someone is a young man, you can say to them something like: "You have a lot of inner anger within which you sometimes have trouble repressing".
Other tricks can also be used. A person with rough hands has likely been exposed to a lot of manual work, for example.
The point is to let you know that people who use these tricks are trying to manipulate you. They're not really intuitive or gifted. They've simply been exposed to this technique and practiced using it to their advantage. It's a fun trick, but don't let them fool you into believing it's anything more.
 | For proof of your own potential genius, just look around you | | What is the difference between you and a person struggling to scratch out a living from nature 50,000 years ago? Biologically, nothing. You are essentially identical. You just got lucky in the draw of history and were born into the modern world. But how this modern world was built must be the greatest story ever told. There we were a few thousand generations back, dropped naked in the dust. And he we are now, flying into space, building the internet and destroying deadly microbes. |  | Too much self-belief can be expensive | | We are often told about how important self-belief is. We're told to be optimistic, think positive and view ourselves as born special and unique. This is all well and good, but at times it can also be damaging. Too much self-belief can actually limit your potential. | | Take lots of small losses for some big wins | | Poker strategy contains many good lessons about dealing with the world. The best of all is that you have to be willing to take lots of small losses in order to hunt out a few big gains. |  | Taking charge of your eating habits | | Many people have trouble controlling their eating habits. You can see it in the rapidly expanding waistlines of the world's population. But what we decide to take into our bodies is something we can take charge of. |  | The world is an amazing place | | "Man is born free, yet everywhere he lies in chains," Voltaire said. He could just as easily have been talking about internal chains as external ones. | | Shaping the behavior of others | | We all have people in our lives who we wish would behave differently. It may be the person who cuts us off when we're driving, or the work-mate who's abusive, or the child who's too rebellious. What can we do to make these people act in the way we want them to? |  | 101 suggestions for squeezing more fun out of life | | Life can sometimes seem like a real drag. The work, worry, stress, chores and general boredom can really get you down. Going to the gym, watching TV and surfing the web are all okay, but often when it comes to having real fun they just don't cut it. | | Become expert at identifying your own weaknesses | | We live in a society that promotes the cult of self-esteem. Anything goes as long as we feel great about ourselves, or so we're led to think. Believing we may have flaws is a big no-no and certain to have a negative impact on our success. |  | The best way to influence the behavior of others | | We are all dependent on one another. We need other people and they need us in order to live the best lives we can. But other people are generally outside of our control. So one of the biggest problem anyone faces is how to get others to behave in the way we want them to. | | Is it better to read fiction or non-fiction? | | One of the most popular articles I’ve written on this site so far has been Five excellent mind habits to develop. It’s been generally well received, but I have come in for some criticism for my belief that it’s a better mind habit to read non-fiction than fiction. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|