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Learn how to deal with the unknown
Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Deep down inside, it's human nature to have a fear of that which we haven't had direct experience with. The default setting for many of us seems to be suspicion of people, food, countries, organizations and any number of other things we don't know much about. And of course there's the dread all of us feel from time to time about the ultimate unknown - what happens to us after we die.
The walls that this fear of the mysterious build in our minds should be pushed back as much as possible, if you want to experience all the good that life has to offer. The simple truth is most of the best things are unlikely to be dropped straight into your lap or be immediately apparent as being useful to you. Instead, you'll have to go out and explore to find them.
When, for example, I think back to the impression I had when I first met most of my best friends, I'm surprised at just how wrong that impression was. Often, I didn't think that much of them, and some I genuinely thought I was going to dislike.
The same thing happened when I first went to live in England. Everything seemed a bit of a struggle and hard to understand. So much of what I took for granted in Australia was quite different. I spent my early months whining about how much better it was at home.
Gradually, I began to realize that a lot of things in England were better than in Australia. I realized how naive and stupid I'd been to form impressions of a place as varied as England in only two seconds flat.
So many talented people I meet really limit their happiness through the fear of what they don't know.
They'll stay in a job they hate, continue a relationship that makes them unhappy, and live in a place they know holds them back. Usually they'll come up with all sorts of rationalizations for why they won't change their situation, but a lot of the time you can almost smell their underlying fear. They don't want to change because they're afraid of what might happen if they do. And they reject the new simply because it feels a bit unfamiliar.
It's a dread we all feel sometimes and try to bury away under a layer of defensive logic.
Strangely, people I meet who are terribly conservative with their money, their career and their personal life are often more than willing to take crazy risks with their safety. They'd never dream of investing in the share market, because they might lose a bit of money, but they're perfectly willing to risk their life drink driving, smoking, eating badly or engaging in dangerous sports.
They're terrified of losing what's relatively unimportant and easy to regain, but reckless with the irreplaceable such as their own health and life.
Taking calculated risks with your career, investments, lifestyle and home city makes life more worth living. It can also power up your chances of success. Trying out more things is virtually the definition of experience, and experienced people usually make better decisions.
Make efforts to knock down the walls of fear holding you back from experimenting with the unknown. The only way to really do this is to face what terrifies you, even if you're pretending something else is holding you back. Sure, you may lose something along the way, but you also may gain something.
At the very least you'll certainly win that most useful of possessions - more experience.
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