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The world is an amazing place
Monday, 15 August 2005
"Man is born free, yet everywhere he lies in chains," Voltaire said. He could just as easily have been talking about internal chains as external ones.
The richness and variety of experience the world has to offer is incredible. There are hundreds of different cultures, millions of books, thousands of sports and games, all types of different landscapes, many varieties of foods and seven billion people. Even with all this on offer, many people feel bored and uninspired. They feel the world has nothing new to offer them.
New experience is the essence of life. We're here to take in as much as the world has to offer, yet every street is filled with people stuck in their same old routine.
Why?
I believe it's because we imprison ourselves. We're so sure of what we do and don't like, that we prevent ourselves from experiencing new things. Here are some examples of the types of attitude I'm talking about:
- "I could never live in another city."
- "I don't like Asian food."
- "That's not my type of movie."
- "He's not the kind of person who has anything to offer me."
- "I'm not into water sports."
- "Science doesn't interest me."
- "Art is boring."
I'm sure you can add some of your own. The problem is that people are often too quick to judge what is and isn't for them. Often, this is based on fear and misunderstanding. We know what we're comfortable with and it's easier to just stick with that. The problem is that we can become so comfortable and limited that we become bored and miserable.
One of the most important gifts a parent can give a child is to have curiosity about the world. It is the explorers in life that are often the most happy. They take risks and try things out, even if they're not sure if it's something they'll like. Take on this attitude yourself and you'll enrich your life beyond belief.
An example of this is a woman I know well who was convinced she didn't like Chinese food. She'd tried it a couple of times, and decided it wasn't for her. It was just too strange. Many times, I tried to convince her to try a type of Chinese food that I liked called Dim Sum. It's a little different from regular Chinese food, and involves waiters bringing around a variety of small dishes to try. Eventually, I managed to convince her to come with me. Now, Dim Sum is her favorite food, and she wants to go there all the time.
The world has endless variety. It is an amazing place. Go out there and explore it. Your life will be the richer for it.
Sure, many times you'll be disappointed. But sometimes you'll find wonderful new things that you never knew of.
Pick up a book on a subject you've never read about, try some food you've always been convinced you didn't like, hire a film that you've never heard of, and travel to a place you've never thought of going to.
 | Look for the underlying pattern | | We humans are pattern-spotting machines. The world can often seem complex and random, but if you look under the covers, you can sometimes find an underlying pattern for its behaviour. In fact, it's the discovery of such patterns that have driven our development forward in many areas. |  | Don't get too easily discouraged | | Occasionally, you may come across someone who appears as if they were born an expert in something. Perhaps it's sport, meeting people, business or family. Some of us just seem to be stars, while others are common. | | Test yourself out on the real world | | Each of us lives in two different places. The real world in which our bodies are firmly anchored, and a shadow-world of fantasies, rules-of-thumb and strategies that flows in the space between our ears. | | Fill your life up with interesting stuff | | We all feel a bit down sometimes. "To be or not to be, that is the question;" Shakespeare's Hamlet famously said. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer, The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing, end them." |  | My eight best negotiation tips | | Negotiation is a part of life we all have to deal with. Being able to do so successfully can make a big difference to our outcomes. Here are eight tips that have helped me. | | Is there something you want? Why not ask for it? | | One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it. |  | Understanding the games people play | | A very interesting book, for anyone who's interested in the psychology of human relationships, is Games People Play by Eric Berne. Dr Berne is a psychiatrist who developed the theory of transactional analysis, which looks at the ways people interact with one another. Specifically, he's interested in the psychological games people play. | | Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear | | Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time. | | Be adaptable in a changing world | | When I look and listen to the people around me, I get the impression that many of them are terribly afraid of change. You can see it in the way they cling desperately to a job they hate, keep friends who are obviously bad for them, and stay in abusive relationships. | | It's not going to just fall into your lap | | I meet a lot of people who are dissatisfied with their lives. They feel they don't have enough money, enough love or enough recognition. They see others around them getting all the rewards while they're passed by for the good things in life. |
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