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Don't get too hung up on any one particular outcome
Friday, 15 June 2007
One mistake I often see in those who are frustrated with their lives is that they focus too heavily on one particular outcome.
A classic example of this is the guy who's worked at the same company for 10 years and been passed over for promotion the last 5. All he can think about is when its review time next year and how on this one he'll get that promotion. So, he bets yet another year of his career on securing one particular job.
When I meet such people and hear them complaining about how unfair it all is, I say to them: "Why don't you apply for jobs with other companies at the level you want to move into?"
Usually, they'll just come up with a whole bunch of reasons for why that's unviable. "If my boss finds out my resume is on the market I'll be in trouble," they say. Or: "I know other companies don't pay as well". Or some other such excuse.
The truth is that they're so focussed on winning only one outcome - promotion at their current company - that they completely ignore the thousands of opportunities out there just waiting to be seized.
At the other end of the career spectrum, new graduates often make a similar mistake. They apply for five jobs in their industry, get interviewed for two, and then fall into depression when neither of them comes through. They get so focussed on the jobs they've already applied for that they don't bother looking for new opportunities.
And, of coure, career isn't the only area where this type of flawed thinking occurs. We all know someone who's completely in love with a "magical" person who doesn't return those feelings. In fact, we've all been in that situation ourselves, I'm sure, at some time or another.
A person in this frame of mind can only focus on that one particular perfect partner. Everyone else blurs away into the background. It's as if they feel this is their one and only hope to snare such a desirable catch.
Generally, the truth is that the world is full of suitable partners. If they'd just get out there and meet more people, they'd come across someone just as good in no time. And paradoxically, this behaviour is likely to increase the interest of the original "person on the pedestal".
Real estate is yet another area where this holds true. Someone will obsess over buying or renting one particular house, and not bother to search the market for others. I hear people say all the time "I love this house, it's the only one I want". I'm willing to bet that with a bit more searching they could find something equally good or better.
Generally, I have the attitude that if I can find one good job, partner, house or friend, then I have the ability to find another of equal or better value if I'm willing to put in the required work. Much of success is a numbers game after all. Rather than concentrating on one particular outcome, I find much more success in flooding my life with opportunities and then deciding which ones suit me best.
There's nothing better than having a back-up opportunity up your sleeve when trying to secure a win in your life. Spend equal or more time pursuing new opportunities that you do tending to current ones, and you'll soon find yourself living far better.
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