|
Become a student of human behavior
We live in a social world. How we integrate with others - in business, at home, in the community - determines how happy and successful we are. Because of that, it's important you try to learn why people behave in the way they do.
Of course, people are complex beings and you can never be totally sure what they're going to do in any given situation. That doesn't mean you can't find things that are common to certain types of people, however. Once you've figured out how most people act and think in a particular setting, you can start to predict which buttons you can push to get things moving in the way you want them to.
Rather than concentrating on what people should do, instead watch for what they actually do. Ask yourself:
- Why did they act in that way and not some other way?
- What triggered that particular action in them?
- What's going on inside their heads and influencing their behavior?
- What values and assumptions do they hold?
- What do they like? What makes them happy?
- What do they hate? What makes them miserable?
- Could things have turned out differently?
- And so on.
You should always be trying to work out what makes people tick - as individuals and in groups. Having the ability to influence social situations can be a very powerful force working in your favor. It's a valuable skill that many successful people have mastered and used to their advantage.
And, of course, you shouldn't just ask these questions of those around you, but also of yourself. While you are certainly an individual, you surely share many feelings and reactions with your peers. Use your own behavior as a laboratory for understanding what moves others. If something makes you react or feel a certain way, it will likely also do so for those around you.
Picking up a book on psychology is also a great strategy. There have been many experiments undertaken for unlocking the secrets of the human mind. Their results are not only fascinating, but also often useful.
Does this sound manipulative?
Maybe it is, but trying to manipulate the behavior of others is something we all must engage in to get ahead. We must know how to impress our bosses in order to get a promotion. We must identify what it is will make that special person go on a date with us. We must understand how to make our children behave in a way that gets them ahead in life.
We are all involved daily in the process of trying to manipulate others. If we can do it well, our outcomes will be better.
I'm not suggesting that you learn how to shape behavior in order to steal from people or otherwise disadvantage them. Manipulation can be used for good as well as evil, and I'm suggesting you develop these skills to undertake the former.
Which leads me to the most effective way of all you can use to influence others. By learning how to make them happy.
 | Finding your life's purpose | | Many people find life a bit meaningless. They fall into a routine of living day-to-day, with little to look forward to. Each moment seems to slip by into the void, with little achieved and no feeling of moving forward. |  | It’s not easy being happy when you’re not in control | | The basis for happiness is having control over your own existence. This is a simple and obvious statement, yet who among us has not ceded such control before? To assume responsibility for our lives can be a struggle, often it’s easier just to let outside forces take over. | | Don't get sucked in by the "it's all an emergency" mindset | | What is one of the biggest obstacles standing between most people and what they want? Other people of course. |  | No matter what you do, some people won't like you | | When I was a teenager, I worked out that convincing people to like me was a useful skill to have. I tried all sorts of strategies and experiments for doing just that. Soon, I became a virtual expert. | | How to motivate yourself without the mental crutch of positive thinking | | A few people have written in to say they think I'm too hard on positive thinking. I've been criticized because I haven't supplied an alternative for self-motivation. Fair enough. Here's how to motivate yourself without having to resort to the problem-filled strategy of positive thinking. | | Sometimes, irrational behavior can be explained by attention-seeking | | Why do people do so many things that are so obviously stupid? Why do they take drugs, commit crimes, ruin good relationships, and spend money they don't have? | | Be willing to crash and burn sometimes | | We all have trouble dealing with failure. We play so many mental tricks on ourselves in order to pretend we aren't avoiding it, that they can sometimes become all consuming. At night, while asleep, we have terrible nightmares of others disapproval, or the world rejecting us. | | From adversity comes greatness | | The challenges of the world sometimes seem ready to engulf us. Difficulty appears to stare out from every angle. But hardship and misfortune aren't always the evils they appear to be. |  | Ten good rules-of-thumb for investing | | I've been investing money for about 14 years now and have had more success than failure along the way. I've also read a large number of books and articles on good investment strategy. Here are my rules-of-thumb if you want to get ahead in the investment game. | | The secret of wealth is working easier, not harder | | Want to get rich? Just work hard and you will is the conventional wisdom. But the conventional wisdom is wrong. Since the dawn of humanity, the road to wealth has been through working easier, not harder. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|