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Most people just want to have their biases reinforced
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
When I was in my early twenties, I was pretty sure I had the world figured out. I'd made up my mind about religion, morals, work, politics, love and life. I was convinced that anyone who disagreed with my views on most subjects probably just hadn't thought things through as carefully as me. Because of that, if I heard somebody expressing an opinion that differed to mine, I felt it was my duty to tell them just how wrong they were.
Needless to say, I ended up in a lot of arguments. Often, people would get quite upset with me. I've always been pretty good at expressing my thoughts, and I'd put my arguments forward powerfully.
What an arrogant little twerp I was!
These days, it's pretty unusual for me to get into an argument with somebody over any particular view. Of course, sometimes I'll express an opinion, but I'll do it much more respectfully. I still enjoy debating, but I'll let people know I'm taking a contrary position on some occasions simply because that makes the debate more interesting.
There are a couple of reasons for this shift in attitude as I've grown older.
The first is that, like all people who try to examine issues deeply, I've found the world is not so simple as I used to believe. In fact, It's a darn complicated place. Just when you think you've nailed down one particular area of life, something unexpected comes along and makes you doubt your views. That is, at least, if you have the courage to look at the situation honestly.
These days, when somebody expresses a contrary view, I'm much more likely to listen to them than rush into an argument. I think to myself: "What if they're right?'. It's not impossible, of course, that they've thought through the issue more deeply than me. And I believe everybody, most of all myself, should be brave enough to let their ideas be scrutinised.
The other reason I don't get into too many debates with people is that generally I find it to be a futile exercise. Most people aren't interested in thinking in new ways or taking on new ideas, in my experience. Instead, all they want is to have their biases reinforced.
So, for example, a Democrat will always be looking for bad things the Republicans are doing. And a creationist will always be trying to pick holes in the Theory of Evolution. No matter how convincing the arguments presented by the other side, such people won't ever change their minds.
Under such circumstances, I find it best just to stay out of the whole debate. There's nothing to be achieved except hard feelings and resentment in talking about serious issues with such people.
Of course, occasionally I come across somebody who's interested in debate because they think it's the best path to truth. They will argue, but based on the soundness of their ideas instead of how strongly they hold them. Discussions with such people are one of life's true pleasures.
But such people are rare. I'm sure if you take the time to open your eyes, you'll see that I'm right about most people's attitude to various issues. They just want to have the beliefs they already hold reinforced. They aren't interested in truth, but rather in boosting their own ego.
I avoid debate with such people, and advise you to do the same.
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