|
Most people just want to have their biases reinforced
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
When I was in my early twenties, I was pretty sure I had the world figured out. I'd made up my mind about religion, morals, work, politics, love and life. I was convinced that anyone who disagreed with my views on most subjects probably just hadn't thought things through as carefully as me. Because of that, if I heard somebody expressing an opinion that differed to mine, I felt it was my duty to tell them just how wrong they were.
Needless to say, I ended up in a lot of arguments. Often, people would get quite upset with me. I've always been pretty good at expressing my thoughts, and I'd put my arguments forward powerfully.
What an arrogant little twerp I was!
These days, it's pretty unusual for me to get into an argument with somebody over any particular view. Of course, sometimes I'll express an opinion, but I'll do it much more respectfully. I still enjoy debating, but I'll let people know I'm taking a contrary position on some occasions simply because that makes the debate more interesting.
There are a couple of reasons for this shift in attitude as I've grown older.
The first is that, like all people who try to examine issues deeply, I've found the world is not so simple as I used to believe. In fact, It's a darn complicated place. Just when you think you've nailed down one particular area of life, something unexpected comes along and makes you doubt your views. That is, at least, if you have the courage to look at the situation honestly.
These days, when somebody expresses a contrary view, I'm much more likely to listen to them than rush into an argument. I think to myself: "What if they're right?'. It's not impossible, of course, that they've thought through the issue more deeply than me. And I believe everybody, most of all myself, should be brave enough to let their ideas be scrutinised.
The other reason I don't get into too many debates with people is that generally I find it to be a futile exercise. Most people aren't interested in thinking in new ways or taking on new ideas, in my experience. Instead, all they want is to have their biases reinforced.
So, for example, a Democrat will always be looking for bad things the Republicans are doing. And a creationist will always be trying to pick holes in the Theory of Evolution. No matter how convincing the arguments presented by the other side, such people won't ever change their minds.
Under such circumstances, I find it best just to stay out of the whole debate. There's nothing to be achieved except hard feelings and resentment in talking about serious issues with such people.
Of course, occasionally I come across somebody who's interested in debate because they think it's the best path to truth. They will argue, but based on the soundness of their ideas instead of how strongly they hold them. Discussions with such people are one of life's true pleasures.
But such people are rare. I'm sure if you take the time to open your eyes, you'll see that I'm right about most people's attitude to various issues. They just want to have the beliefs they already hold reinforced. They aren't interested in truth, but rather in boosting their own ego.
I avoid debate with such people, and advise you to do the same.
 | For proof of your own potential genius, just look around you | | What is the difference between you and a person struggling to scratch out a living from nature 50,000 years ago? Biologically, nothing. You are essentially identical. You just got lucky in the draw of history and were born into the modern world. But how this modern world was built must be the greatest story ever told. There we were a few thousand generations back, dropped naked in the dust. And he we are now, flying into space, building the internet and destroying deadly microbes. |  | Too much self-belief can be expensive | | We are often told about how important self-belief is. We're told to be optimistic, think positive and view ourselves as born special and unique. This is all well and good, but at times it can also be damaging. Too much self-belief can actually limit your potential. | | Take lots of small losses for some big wins | | Poker strategy contains many good lessons about dealing with the world. The best of all is that you have to be willing to take lots of small losses in order to hunt out a few big gains. |  | Taking charge of your eating habits | | Many people have trouble controlling their eating habits. You can see it in the rapidly expanding waistlines of the world's population. But what we decide to take into our bodies is something we can take charge of. |  | The world is an amazing place | | "Man is born free, yet everywhere he lies in chains," Voltaire said. He could just as easily have been talking about internal chains as external ones. | | Shaping the behavior of others | | We all have people in our lives who we wish would behave differently. It may be the person who cuts us off when we're driving, or the work-mate who's abusive, or the child who's too rebellious. What can we do to make these people act in the way we want them to? |  | 101 suggestions for squeezing more fun out of life | | Life can sometimes seem like a real drag. The work, worry, stress, chores and general boredom can really get you down. Going to the gym, watching TV and surfing the web are all okay, but often when it comes to having real fun they just don't cut it. | | Become expert at identifying your own weaknesses | | We live in a society that promotes the cult of self-esteem. Anything goes as long as we feel great about ourselves, or so we're led to think. Believing we may have flaws is a big no-no and certain to have a negative impact on our success. |  | The best way to influence the behavior of others | | We are all dependent on one another. We need other people and they need us in order to live the best lives we can. But other people are generally outside of our control. So one of the biggest problem anyone faces is how to get others to behave in the way we want them to. | | Is it better to read fiction or non-fiction? | | One of the most popular articles I’ve written on this site so far has been Five excellent mind habits to develop. It’s been generally well received, but I have come in for some criticism for my belief that it’s a better mind habit to read non-fiction than fiction. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|