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Get some frustration tolerance
Thursday, 13 October 2005
Life is filled with frustration - both large and small. From the car that won't start, to the child who just won't listen, to the career you just can't get off the ground - sometimes nothing seems to go your way. Your attitude towards these setbacks can make a big difference to your success in life.
That's why you should try to develop a hardy tolerance for frustration.
It's a certainty that things often won't go the way you want them to. What you thought was going to be easy turns out to be very difficult. Or worse, what you knew was going to be difficult feels like it's impossible.
Your emotional reaction to these let-downs will sometimes seem overwhelming. You'll find yourself becoming angry at the smallest thing. You may feel overwhelmed, out of control and depressed.
Sometimes you'll want to burst into tears. Sometimes you'll want to sink into a long despondency. Sometimes you'll want to just outright punch somebody.
All this is perfectly normal.
But when you sense that life is just too difficult and unfair, take a deep breath and try to regain control of yourself. Catch your emotional reaction at its roots and prevent it from gaining control over you. Use the sheer force of your will to maintain a rational attitude.
Spend a moment to let the wild emotional reaction wash over you and away. Tolerate the frustration and keep moving calmly forward.
This is something you will become better at with self-training and self-discipline. Begin to recognize when a setback is generating a strong emotional reaction within you and attempt to prevent it happening. Rather than tensing up, make a conscious decision to relax. Close your eyes and will your body and mind to let go of the tight ball of frustration within.
With time, you'll amaze yourself at how patient and diligent you can become in the pursuit of your goals. Setbacks will come to seem less big and scary. You'll see them for the inevitable obstacles they are - difficult to overcome, but not impossible.
Certainly they are no challenge that you cannot, in time, meet.
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