|
Your life isn’t a movie or a TV show
Thursday, 11 May 2006
When I was at university, I spent a year or so experimenting with drugs and having some minor involvement in the drug culture. The biggest change that happens when you’re into drugs is that when you’re not high, life seems unbearably dull.
If you’re used to taking drugs to get your kicks, everything seems drab and pointless without them. Many people feel this way about reality, even without the influence of drugs. Everywhere they look, they see nothing but monotony and dreariness.
“I must create some excitement in my life!” they think. But rather than taking the more difficult path of excitement through personal development and positive experiences, they pursue cheap thrills instead.
Entering the drug culture is one example of searching for cheap thrills. It has all sorts of advantages if you want a quick injection of excitement into your life. The actual taking of substances is almost secondary to the fun of using the slang, looking to score, and associating with small time crooks.
When looking to introduce some excitement into their lives, most people think about imitating the most exciting place they know of – television and movie-land.
On TV, people are rarely bored. They’re too busy chasing criminals, or being criminals, or arguing with their spouse, or getting into fights. When reality seems like a drag, it’s easy to become seduced by the exhilarating lives of the beautiful people on the screen.
“My life is boring, their’s is filled with endless stimulation,” the subconscious conclusion goes, “so I should make my life more like theirs.”
When you look around, the world is full of people who’ve come to this conclusion. They try to construct a television world around them, with themselves as the central character.
Many young men like to dress and speak like gangsters. They talk the talk and act the behavior – getting into fights and dealing drugs.
Many young women try to construct elaborate soap-opera worlds around them. They coax their spouse into arguments and gossip about their friends.
Some adults like to talk big and dress sharp like the slick businesspeople on TV. Buy! Sell! Don’t you mess with me buddy!
The essence of on-screen excitement is conflict – gun fights, intense arguments, wife-beating, threats, cutting insults, and cardboard cut-out morality. Television and movie executives spend their time coming up with the most stimulating conflict experiences they can. They want to get your heart racing just watching the scenario.
Imagine if you were actually involved in it!
The problem is real life isn’t like what's portrayed on the screen. It’s not uncommon for people in real life to be killed or seriously injured from a single punch. The type of beatings that are dished out regularly in the movies would be difficult to survive.
Treat your partner and friends like characters on TV do, and you’re likely to end up alone. Put on a Donald Trump persona in real-life business, and you’ll be fired or dropped from the account.
The reason the situations on the display are so fascinating is because they’re an exaggeration and a simplification of reality. There is moral certainty and the characters are predictable - a rare situation in reality.
The world we live in isn’t so simple.
Life is sometimes a bit boring and that's just the way it goes. We have to do tasks that are monotonous, and undertake obligations we’d rather not. But it doesn’t have to all be like that.
If you’re looking for a bit of excitement in your life, don’t find it by imitating those on the big or small screen. Instead, aim to develop your life into an exciting one through achievement. Learn to surf, go on an overseas trip, study a profession, meet new people, or start a business.
It’s unlikely to be as nonstop thrilling as a TV character’s life, but deeply more satisfying. It also won’t get you into anywhere near as much serious trouble!
 | A good strategy for learning difficult subjects | | Some things are just difficult to study. They contain complicated facts that are confusing to the uninitiated. Having to learn such things can be a very frustrating experience! What's the best strategy to cope? |  | Don't buy into the "no fear" bulldust | | Okay, stand back and hold your breath. I'm about to question one of the quasi-religious commandments of personal development. It's the one that says fear is all bad and should be overcome. That the aim of life should be to "live without fear", usually followed by some blather about love being the opposite of fear. |  | Be generous to the future | | The future is like a giant spiritual bank account. You can invest in it, or withdraw from it any time you like. How you treat this bank account plays a big part in deciding how successful you are. | | It's hard to appreciate the emotional impact of something until you experience it | | When I was a young adult, the father of a friend of mine passed away. My friend had a very close relationship with his father, and was devastated. He went into a deep depression for a number of months. |  | Perfect contentment leads to stagnation | | Have a look at how so many of us live our lives. We get up in the morning, go out all day and work, work, work. Whether in a rich country or a poor one, a good neighbourhood or bad, you can be sure that most of the people around you will be working most of the time. | | Don't reward bad behavior in yourself and others | | Almost everyone has done things in life that they knew at the time were wrong. But sometimes, there seems to be an overwhelming force pushing towards what we know is going to be a bad outcome. Why can't we control ourselves? | | Recognise the two universes you live in | | One of my favourite works of fiction is His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman. It's about parallel universes that exist, similar to our own but all different. The main characters find doors between these universes and go off on great adventures. | | Find something to live for | | I've just finished reading Viktor Frankl's “Man’s Search for Meaning”, which I think is a very interesting book. Frankl is a neurologist and psychiatrist who has developed a theory called Logotherapy. | | Beef up your mental toolkit | | We are all born with certain reasoning tools which are popularly referred to as "common sense". We know that it's a good idea to avoid pain, for example. | | Accumulate lots of small victories | | When I was at school, a teacher told me an interesting fact. Well, when I say fact, I'm not sure if it was really true. It's more of an interesting allegory. He said that the ancient Romans used to build all their roads in a zig-zag pattern rather than a straight line. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|