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Concentrate on the future
Thursday, 11 January 2007
We all have miserable events happen to us in life. Believe me, I’ve had my share too.
Of course, some people get dealt worse cards than others. But none of us comes up all aces in life. We all have to put up with tragic and difficult events – whether it’s financial failure, the death of a loved one or the shattering of a long-term relationship.
When bad things happen to us, it’s natural to fall into depression and despondency for a time. We look back at what occurred and wonder what we could have done to make things turn out differently. Sometimes, we may have made a terrible error which is impossible to undo, other times fate may just have dealt an unavoidable blow.
When such events occur, you cannot ignore their devastating impact on your emotions. They will hurt, and sometimes with such intensity that you think you’ll be unable to stand it.
But with time, most such wounds heal. This is especially true if you allow your system to fix itself, rather than filling it with new poisons such as resentment and self-loathing. Believe it or not, the pain will dull, and you will be able to move on.
In these types of dark time, and even in the good times of life, the best thing is to concentrate on what you can change and avoid dwelling on what you can’t. There are many events and circumstances that we simply have no power over, even if we like to kid ourselves that we’re in control most of the time.
And the one thing it’s guaranteed you have no power over whatsoever is the past. The past is done gone and finished, whether it was painful or filled with bliss.
Many people allow themselves to become consumed by difficult events in their past. We all have to face tragedy, but some of us seem able to recover. Others choose to live in yesterday or last year because what occurred at that time has caught their imagination and emotions.
Nice memories are good to look back on, but pain is difficult and destructive. Dwelling on the horrible things the world has done to you is a good way to destroy your life. Yet, unfortunately many people seem to fall into this trap.
When you find yourself spending too much time obsessing over the hurt of yesterday, make a conscious effort to change your thoughts. Instead, try to think about the opportunities of the future. Tomorrow has not yet come, and the events that occur there can almost certainly be manipulated by you in some way.
As with any investment, spending your limited resources where they’ll provide the most benefit is a great strategy. Your thoughts and obsessions are just such a resource, with your time to spend them on this planet limited.
Use them to concentrate on what you can change – the future – and minimize the amount spent preoccupied with what’s already occurred.
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