|
Life is conflict
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
The Lord of the Flies by William Golding is a fascinating novel. It tells the story of a group of school boys who get trapped together on a desert island. At first, everything is fine and they come up with laws to govern themselves. But soon, they turn into savages and murderers as the options to fulfil their selfish needs become too enticing.
We are all thrown onto this planet without getting a lot of the things we want in life. We're all disappointed. Inside each of us is some level of unbearable pain because of something we feel we're missing.
Often, we can see relief from this pain in the actions and options of others. If I steal another man's wife, he's worse off but I have something good. If I want to have a wild party, my neighbours will be affected without any gain. If you and I are competing for a job, only one of us can gain it.
We all try to look for win/win situations in this life. And such options are many.
But you'd have to be pretty naive not to realise that there are some areas where zero-sum games are played. For me to gain, you must lose and vica-versa.
Because of this basic truth, much of life is conflict. Indeed, it's when you look at nature that you see this ruthless battle for resources played out at its most raw.
When male lions take over a harem of females, the first thing they do is kill the cubs of the previous males. Many lizards will have no qualms about eating a bird's eggs and therefore destroying her unborn children. Killer whales will hurl live seals into the air, playing a brutally violent game with them. And of course, diseases couldn't care less about making life miserable for, and ultimately killing, their hosts.
Life is conflict, the evidence is everywhere. Indeed, it's one of civilization's greatest achievements that we've managed to reduce the conflicts of the past through such avenues as the legal system.
As children, we can come to believe that reality is more civilized than it is, however. Despite all the advances of our society, many areas of life are still ruthless battles. Beneath the civilized veneer lies a desperate struggle for survival and gain.
Realize this and take steps to protect yourself. I'm not saying become completely paranoid and build a fall-out shelter in your back yard filled with guns. I'm just saying not to be naive enough to believe that the world is a fairy-tale place where people always play fair.
Expect to have to fight for some of what you'll achieve in life. Expect to come across others who'll sabotage your work, even if it means a tiny gain for themselves. This, unfortunately, is the reality of much of existence.
Of course, life wouldn't be worth living if in between our battles we found people we can create a genuine selfless connection with. Look for a balance between these two extremes in your own life.
 | How to hook up with members of the opposite sex | | A man and a woman meet each other at a singles bar. He bowls her over with his conversation, she dazzles him with her beauty. Within moments, they fall in love. Three months later they're married. |  | Much of success is about knowing how to anticipate problems | | When I was in my teens, my friends and I were addicted to arcade games. This is a pretty typical obsession with boys. I spent lots of my pocket-money on such games and even managed to win some of them. |  | How to develop more sophisticated taste | | We live in an impatient world. Technology has given up unprecedented control over what we consume. If you don’t like what you’re watching on TV, there’s a hundred other channels just waiting for you to flick over to them. |  | Concentrate on the future | | We all have miserable events happen to us in life. Believe me, I’ve had my share too. | | Learn the skill of resilience | | I saw a very interesting TV documentary a couple of weeks back on the issue of happiness. It was asking what makes us happy and what makes happy people different from those who aren't. | | Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term | | I've previously looked at how to get a short-term "hit" of happiness. Now I'll explore the more important subject of long-term happiness. | | Work hard to give yourself lots of options and opportunities | | Always finish what you start, is an adage that many people try to follow. And it's a good one in a lot of ways. But it probably focusses too much on the importance of the entire process towards achieving a goal. Generally, it's the earlier part that's most important, in my view. | | Take some time to reflect on how astonishing it all is | | Sometimes we all feel as if we're living grey little lives. We want to be moving galaxies, but instead we're stuck in traffic, feeling ill, assigned boring tasks, or filling in tax returns. No wonder everyone feels a bit down every now and again. |  | The four measures of financial success | | If you want to do well financially, you must first understand what it is you have to achieve. It's not just a matter of making more money. Instead, there are four factors you must consider. | | Be aware of your competing desires | | Theodore Dalrymple is an interesting writer who often has keen insights into the emotional turbulence within us all. He's a doctor and psychiatrist who spent many years practising in a hospital and a prison in a deprived area of England. As he had to deal so much with those at the bottom of life's heap, he witnessed many of the tragedies that face us all at their most raw. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|