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Is there something you want? Why not ask for it?
Thursday, 8 September 2005
One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it.
Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you'll have a successful life or not. In fact, all the good sales advice available generally boils down to this one basic point - if you don't ask, you don't get.
It sounds simple, but it's extraordinary how difficult it can be for people to follow this one piece of advice.
Years ago, if there was something that I wanted, would spend months desperately hoping that it would come my way. I would never let those who had the power to give it to me know of my desire. What a mistake that was! Gradually, I trained myself to overcome the painful shyness of not asking, and what a difference it's made.
Why are some people so afraid of making simple requests?
Almost inevitably it's because of the fear of rejection. If they ask for something, they run the risk of being told "no". For many of us, that one little word can be devastating.
Even worse, if we live in silent anticipation, we can fantasize that our deep wish may by magic come true. If we ask for what we want, this illusion may be shattered by rejection.
The problem with this strategy is that our fantasies rarely come true if we sit around waiting for them to. It's better to get rejected and move on than wait in desperate anticipation for something that's never going to happen.
Certainly if you make a habit of asking for things, you're going to get rejected more often than if you don't. But you're also going to have your wishes granted more often. It's a trade-off - more rejection for more success. And believe me, it's a trade-off that's well worth it.
The thing to understand about rejection is that it hurts less as we experience it more. With time, it starts to feel like water running off a duck's back - you hardly even notice it's there. You will become almost immune to feeling let down.
Simply look upon rejection as part of the process of moving towards success. If you need to be told "no" ten times before you receive a "yes", then you'd better start working through those "no"s. Sure, you'll collect a lot of them along the way, but you'll collect a lot of "yes"es too.
Whether it's for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy - asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.
Start trying it out today.
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