|
Is there something you want? Why not ask for it?
Thursday, 8 September 2005
One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it.
Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you'll have a successful life or not. In fact, all the good sales advice available generally boils down to this one basic point - if you don't ask, you don't get.
It sounds simple, but it's extraordinary how difficult it can be for people to follow this one piece of advice.
Years ago, if there was something that I wanted, would spend months desperately hoping that it would come my way. I would never let those who had the power to give it to me know of my desire. What a mistake that was! Gradually, I trained myself to overcome the painful shyness of not asking, and what a difference it's made.
Why are some people so afraid of making simple requests?
Almost inevitably it's because of the fear of rejection. If they ask for something, they run the risk of being told "no". For many of us, that one little word can be devastating.
Even worse, if we live in silent anticipation, we can fantasize that our deep wish may by magic come true. If we ask for what we want, this illusion may be shattered by rejection.
The problem with this strategy is that our fantasies rarely come true if we sit around waiting for them to. It's better to get rejected and move on than wait in desperate anticipation for something that's never going to happen.
Certainly if you make a habit of asking for things, you're going to get rejected more often than if you don't. But you're also going to have your wishes granted more often. It's a trade-off - more rejection for more success. And believe me, it's a trade-off that's well worth it.
The thing to understand about rejection is that it hurts less as we experience it more. With time, it starts to feel like water running off a duck's back - you hardly even notice it's there. You will become almost immune to feeling let down.
Simply look upon rejection as part of the process of moving towards success. If you need to be told "no" ten times before you receive a "yes", then you'd better start working through those "no"s. Sure, you'll collect a lot of them along the way, but you'll collect a lot of "yes"es too.
Whether it's for a date, a raise, a new job, a friendship or simply a discount on something you buy - asking for what you want is a very powerful thing.
Start trying it out today.
 | The number-one most important fact to understand if you want to get things done | | We all have things we want done. Or more precisely, we have things about the world we wish to change, and realize we'll to put in some effort to do so. |  | Does objective reality exist? | | From Scientologists, to The Matrix, to a recent post by Steve Pavlina, there are a lot of people out there who seem to be claiming that objective reality doesn’t exist. Or at least, that it only exists in the way you choose it to. |  | With effort and inner-strength, you can be good at almost anything | | It's a cliche for writers like me to say "You can be anything you want to". I like to be a little different in most things, but on this one I agree to a large extent. With a little effort and inner-strength, most people can become way above average at almost anything. | | Most people start with a conclusion and then search for the facts to support it | | Most of us realise that the people we deal with in everyday life often aren't rational. They behave in ways that bewilder. They do things that seem immoral, stupid and not in their own interests. They hold beliefs that just seem crazy. |  | Do lots of small favors for people | | One of the most powerful unspoken rules in human behavior is that of reciprocation. In other words, if I do you a favor, I expect you to do one for me in return. |  | Taking charge of your eating habits | | Many people have trouble controlling their eating habits. You can see it in the rapidly expanding waistlines of the world's population. But what we decide to take into our bodies is something we can take charge of. |  | Understand opportunity costs | | A critical idea to understand for a successful life is that of opportunity costs. It is one of the key concepts of economics, but is very easy to appreciate for anyone. | | You have to run pretty fast in this life even just to stay still | | The Red Queen is a character in the Lewis Caroll fantasy story "Through the Looking Glass". The main character in the story, Alice, comes across the Red Queen and finds her always running in the same spot. | | How to win an argument | | Arguments and debates are facts of life whether you like it or not. How well you can present a case in negotiations with your spouse, friends, colleagues, political opponents and business partners makes a big difference to how far you'll get with your various agendas. Here are some proven strategies for winning. | | The world's best investment | | Many people don't think of it consciously, but much of our lives are spent deciding how to invest our resources. Families decide whether to move into a bigger house, or save their money and stay in the current one. Young women decide which man they should bet their reproductive potential on. Workers ponder what they should do with their holidays. And so on. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|