|
Much of success is about knowing how to anticipate problems
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
When I was in my teens, my friends and I were addicted to arcade games. This is a pretty typical obsession with boys. I spent lots of my pocket-money on such games and even managed to win some of them.
In some ways, they're great training for certain aspects of life. Much of the success in such games comes from experience of playing them, and learning how to anticipate the problems that come up.
For example, the first time you have to fight a "big-boss" at the end of a level, he'll probably deploy some kind of weapon on you to totally annihilate you. But gradually, as you fight him again and again, you learn how to anticipate his actions. You can guess, or even be certain about how he's going to behave, and develop strategies for overcoming each attack. Soon, you can kill him with ease.
Much of success in real life is much the same. Failure and rejection in life can be brutal experiences. Like a new player up against a big boss, someone trying out relationships, careers, investment or anything else can quickly get annihilated. And the pain of such failure can be comparable to physical pain, a deep ache inside that can last weeks or even months.
Yet with each failure, you learn how to anticipate what's likely to happen next time. If you bought into risky stocks hoping for a high return, you know to be more cautious next time. If you lost the attention of someone you loved because of failing to react somehow, you know not to do that when a new love enters your life. If you missed out on that great job because you didn't know the answer to a particular interview question, you know to look that question up for the next opportunity.
While failure and rejection can be horrible experiences, making it seem as if your very soul is fading away, they contain the seeds of success. Failing is a harsh, but necessary, part of succeeding. Just as you're unlikely to beat the big-boss the first time you meet him in an arcade game, it's unlikely you'll come out ahead the first time you try things out in real life.
Indeed, what distinguishes most successful people from the average is the string of previous failures they've racked up. They've fought and been killed by the big-boss so many times, that they can now anticipate his every move and have a strategy in place for dealing with that situation. Nothing teaches as well as the sting of defeat.
That's why it's important to brace yourself for failure and rejection and face your vulnerabilities head-on. For paradoxically, fighting your way through this path of failure is the only way to find success.
And knowing this can help you philosophically deal with set-backs in life. While others cower in their shelters, avoiding failure and humiliation at all costs, you are brave enough to face them. You can let people laugh at your set-backs today, knowing that tomorrow they'll be envious of your achievements.
 | How to be cool | | Yes, yes I know. The title of this article is a little immodest. I'm not saying that I'm the world's coolest man or anything like that. In fact, underneath it all I'm a bit of a geek. |  | What to do when you've made a life-shatteringly bad decision | | Let's face it, despite our often high opinions of ourselves, we're all human really. There's not a person on this planet who hasn't made an incredibly stupid decision at some stage that's had life-changing consequences. You'll certainly make such a dumb call yourself some day, as will I and everybody else. |  | How to get control of your body | | The evidence that people in rich modern societies have lost control of their bodies is widespread. Poor eating, drug use, and lack of exercise are common habits. Why is it that we have such difficulty gaining power over our bodies, and what can we do about it? |  | Perfect contentment leads to stagnation | | Have a look at how so many of us live our lives. We get up in the morning, go out all day and work, work, work. Whether in a rich country or a poor one, a good neighbourhood or bad, you can be sure that most of the people around you will be working most of the time. |  | Get yourself some allies | | People I know who are introverted often tell me they don't really understand why outgoing people expend so much time and effort on socialising. They see it all as being a bit shallow and a waste of effort. But I think they miss the point in a lot of ways. | | Get over yourself | | We live in a culture that's obsessed with self-esteem. A person can achieve no greater thing than believe in their own special importance, or so we're told. | | Do lots of small, cheap experiments | | I once met a guy who'd built a successful website that he'd made a lot of money from. It's always interesting to talk to people who've done well, so I asked him what his secret was. | | Learn how to deal with the unknown | | Deep down inside, it's human nature to have a fear of that which we haven't had direct experience with. The default setting for many of us seems to be suspicion of people, food, countries, organizations and any number of other things we don't know much about. | | Give away lots of little gifts | | It amazes me how many people don't pay attention to developing their relationships. Other people are extremely useful in life. Indeed, for me, I think they are probably my favourite thing in the whole world. A good connection with another can be the most wonderful thing you can have. | | It's extremely difficult to change people | | Most of us have someone in our life we'd like to change. It might be a lover, a child, a boss, or a neighbor. We try every trick at our disposal to meet that end, but in general we are likely to fail. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|