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Seven back-to-basics ingredients for leading a good life
Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in thinking big thoughts or pursuing improvement in one particular area of our lives, that we can all lose track of the big picture. That's why I think it's good to do the odd back-to-basics post on what the main ingredients are for leading a good life. This can help you to focus on the bigger picture and think about what areas you may be neglecting.
Okay, here are the main ingredients I see as being necessary for a good life.
A good education
This doesn't necessarily have to be a formal education, but understanding how things in the world work makes a big difference to life quality. Survey after survey shows that educated people are richer, happier and more successful. More than that, I think education gives you something that's of intrinsic worth in itself - a more expansive view of the universe. Spending time on improving your mind is always worthwhile.
Something to live for
Why is it that some people who seem to have everything - a big house, plenty of money, fame - end up miserable, while some who have nothing are happy? There are all sorts of reasons, but a big one is having a purpose in life. Inside us all is a need to have something to strive for. It may be a successful business, a well-adjusted family-life, a big stamp collection, or that perfect dance routine, but whatever it is, we all need something to live for.
Fancy trinkets and sophisticated entertainment are all worth having, but at best they provide a distraction from the difficult parts of life. It's a sense of purpose that holds us together as human beings and makes it worthwhile getting out of bed in the morning. Further proof of this basic truth is provided when we find that, often, actually reaching the goal we've been struggling towards is less satisfying than the journey to get there.
Good relationships
Our bonds with others can be easy to neglect. In our struggle to get ahead, our family and friends can become unintended casualties. Yet it's often our relationships that form meaning and structure in our lives. When people are near the end of their lives, it's often those they spent time with rather than what they did that provides them with the fondest memories.
Time spent developing and enriching your relationships is often a much better investment than many people realize. Going out and finding new people to form connections with, as well as strengthening those you already have, is a basic ingredient of a good life.
Spending less than you earn
Financial problems are horrible to have. Nobody wants to spend their lives in enslavement to money - there are just too many disadvantages. Finding yourself in a position where you have to do a job you hate, simply because you need the money, or not being able to do things you want to because you're too broke, is a large source of misery.
But there's an easy way to avoid this. A lifetime habit of spending less than you earn is the best way to keep control of your finances. More than just a formula, it's a state of mind - a way of ensuring that you're in control of money rather than having it in control of you.
Finding somewhere nice to live
I've lived in quite a variety of places in my life, and I can tell you that where you are has a big effect on your state of mind. The weather, the crime level, the attitude of the people around you, and the facilities available have a much bigger effect on happiness and well-being than many people realize. Too many people try to somehow change themselves to better fit their environment, when it's often easier to just move to a new place that better fits them.
Good health
Nothing has a bigger effect on how you feel than how good your health is. Many people think they can reason their way around bad health, but it's next to impossible. No matter how good your logic, a toothache is going to give you a bad day. And that's true for lesser health problems also.
Bad eating habits, smoking, drugs, lack of exercise and other abuses of your body add up to a less satisfying life. You don't have to stick to rabbit food and run five miles a day in order to enjoy good health. Small changes can have a big effect - walking instead of driving, fresh fruit and vegetables instead of french-fries on the side, time outdoors instead of always in front of the screen, and so on. For most people, good health is relatively easy to achieve and well-worth pursuing.
A little fun and relaxation sometimes
What I often find when I read tomes about how to improve your life is just how joyless they are. They're all about giving things up, working harder, and sacrificing more. It's true to some extent, that you reap what you sow. But don't forget to do a little reaping sometimes. Good fun doesn't necessarily mean fancy and expensive entertainment. It can just be a few silly laughs with your spouse, a walk through town, or a nice home-cooked meal. Usually, these small moments of fun and relaxation are what makes life worth living.
 | Emotions are like muscles, you need to work them out | | It’s amazing how much of our lives are controlled by our emotions. In fact, it could be said that pretty much everything we do is in pursuit of some sort of emotional comfort. If you’re hungry, lonely or cold, your emotions are going to let you know by making you feel miserable. This is generally a good thing. |  | If investments become cheaper, and you’re a buyer, that’s a good thing | | In the last few years, stock markets around the world have been hammered. Currencies have also fallen to historic lows. People see their portfolios down and are running scared. |  | Don't fall into the habit of finding excuses not to take action | | Sometimes it's good not to take action. It's just not called for under some circumstances and can actually make things worse. I've written about this before. |  | The best way to influence the behavior of others | | We are all dependent on one another. We need other people and they need us in order to live the best lives we can. But other people are generally outside of our control. So one of the biggest problem anyone faces is how to get others to behave in the way we want them to. | | What to do when you've made a life-shatteringly bad decision | | Let's face it, despite our often high opinions of ourselves, we're all human really. There's not a person on this planet who hasn't made an incredibly stupid decision at some stage that's had life-changing consequences. You'll certainly make such a dumb call yourself some day, as will I and everybody else. | | It's extremely difficult to change people | | Most of us have someone in our life we'd like to change. It might be a lover, a child, a boss, or a neighbor. We try every trick at our disposal to meet that end, but in general we are likely to fail. | | Throw yourself in the deep end | | We're all afraid of things we haven't experienced before. We'd like to take a more responsible job, but we're not sure we can deal with it. We'd like to meet new people, but we're afraid that they won't like us. We'd like to try out a new activity, but we're worried about making a fool out of ourselves. |  | If you don't know, say so | | Three of the hardest words for many people to say are: "I don't know". In fact, many of the problems in human history have been caused through our aversion to these words. How come? |  | The transition periods are often the most difficult | | Someone I know quite well once discovered that his wife of five years was seeing another man behind his back. He found out when she suddenly announced she was leaving him for her new beau. He was out of town at the time, and when he returned he found most of the furniture in his house missing. | | Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term | | I've previously looked at how to get a short-term "hit" of happiness. Now I'll explore the more important subject of long-term happiness. |
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