|
Seven back-to-basics ingredients for leading a good life
Tuesday, 7 November 2006
Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in thinking big thoughts or pursuing improvement in one particular area of our lives, that we can all lose track of the big picture. That's why I think it's good to do the odd back-to-basics post on what the main ingredients are for leading a good life. This can help you to focus on the bigger picture and think about what areas you may be neglecting.
Okay, here are the main ingredients I see as being necessary for a good life.
A good education
This doesn't necessarily have to be a formal education, but understanding how things in the world work makes a big difference to life quality. Survey after survey shows that educated people are richer, happier and more successful. More than that, I think education gives you something that's of intrinsic worth in itself - a more expansive view of the universe. Spending time on improving your mind is always worthwhile.
Something to live for
Why is it that some people who seem to have everything - a big house, plenty of money, fame - end up miserable, while some who have nothing are happy? There are all sorts of reasons, but a big one is having a purpose in life. Inside us all is a need to have something to strive for. It may be a successful business, a well-adjusted family-life, a big stamp collection, or that perfect dance routine, but whatever it is, we all need something to live for.
Fancy trinkets and sophisticated entertainment are all worth having, but at best they provide a distraction from the difficult parts of life. It's a sense of purpose that holds us together as human beings and makes it worthwhile getting out of bed in the morning. Further proof of this basic truth is provided when we find that, often, actually reaching the goal we've been struggling towards is less satisfying than the journey to get there.
Good relationships
Our bonds with others can be easy to neglect. In our struggle to get ahead, our family and friends can become unintended casualties. Yet it's often our relationships that form meaning and structure in our lives. When people are near the end of their lives, it's often those they spent time with rather than what they did that provides them with the fondest memories.
Time spent developing and enriching your relationships is often a much better investment than many people realize. Going out and finding new people to form connections with, as well as strengthening those you already have, is a basic ingredient of a good life.
Spending less than you earn
Financial problems are horrible to have. Nobody wants to spend their lives in enslavement to money - there are just too many disadvantages. Finding yourself in a position where you have to do a job you hate, simply because you need the money, or not being able to do things you want to because you're too broke, is a large source of misery.
But there's an easy way to avoid this. A lifetime habit of spending less than you earn is the best way to keep control of your finances. More than just a formula, it's a state of mind - a way of ensuring that you're in control of money rather than having it in control of you.
Finding somewhere nice to live
I've lived in quite a variety of places in my life, and I can tell you that where you are has a big effect on your state of mind. The weather, the crime level, the attitude of the people around you, and the facilities available have a much bigger effect on happiness and well-being than many people realize. Too many people try to somehow change themselves to better fit their environment, when it's often easier to just move to a new place that better fits them.
Good health
Nothing has a bigger effect on how you feel than how good your health is. Many people think they can reason their way around bad health, but it's next to impossible. No matter how good your logic, a toothache is going to give you a bad day. And that's true for lesser health problems also.
Bad eating habits, smoking, drugs, lack of exercise and other abuses of your body add up to a less satisfying life. You don't have to stick to rabbit food and run five miles a day in order to enjoy good health. Small changes can have a big effect - walking instead of driving, fresh fruit and vegetables instead of french-fries on the side, time outdoors instead of always in front of the screen, and so on. For most people, good health is relatively easy to achieve and well-worth pursuing.
A little fun and relaxation sometimes
What I often find when I read tomes about how to improve your life is just how joyless they are. They're all about giving things up, working harder, and sacrificing more. It's true to some extent, that you reap what you sow. But don't forget to do a little reaping sometimes. Good fun doesn't necessarily mean fancy and expensive entertainment. It can just be a few silly laughs with your spouse, a walk through town, or a nice home-cooked meal. Usually, these small moments of fun and relaxation are what makes life worth living.
 | Look for the underlying pattern | | We humans are pattern-spotting machines. The world can often seem complex and random, but if you look under the covers, you can sometimes find an underlying pattern for its behaviour. In fact, it's the discovery of such patterns that have driven our development forward in many areas. |  | Don't get too easily discouraged | | Occasionally, you may come across someone who appears as if they were born an expert in something. Perhaps it's sport, meeting people, business or family. Some of us just seem to be stars, while others are common. | | Test yourself out on the real world | | Each of us lives in two different places. The real world in which our bodies are firmly anchored, and a shadow-world of fantasies, rules-of-thumb and strategies that flows in the space between our ears. | | Fill your life up with interesting stuff | | We all feel a bit down sometimes. "To be or not to be, that is the question;" Shakespeare's Hamlet famously said. "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer, The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing, end them." |  | My eight best negotiation tips | | Negotiation is a part of life we all have to deal with. Being able to do so successfully can make a big difference to our outcomes. Here are eight tips that have helped me. | | Is there something you want? Why not ask for it? | | One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it. |  | Understanding the games people play | | A very interesting book, for anyone who's interested in the psychology of human relationships, is Games People Play by Eric Berne. Dr Berne is a psychiatrist who developed the theory of transactional analysis, which looks at the ways people interact with one another. Specifically, he's interested in the psychological games people play. | | Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear | | Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time. | | Be adaptable in a changing world | | When I look and listen to the people around me, I get the impression that many of them are terribly afraid of change. You can see it in the way they cling desperately to a job they hate, keep friends who are obviously bad for them, and stay in abusive relationships. | | It's not going to just fall into your lap | | I meet a lot of people who are dissatisfied with their lives. They feel they don't have enough money, enough love or enough recognition. They see others around them getting all the rewards while they're passed by for the good things in life. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
|
|