Lifehacks







Test yourself out on the real world

Sunday, 6 May 2007

Each of us lives in two different places. The real world in which our bodies are firmly anchored, and a shadow-world of fantasies, rules-of-thumb and strategies that flows in the space between our ears. It's where these two worlds join that often dictate our success or failure.

Of course, success in the real world contains an element of luck. All sorts of events and circumstances that affect us are out of our control. We can't even dictate such basics as whether or not we'll be born, or have a choice in the inevitability of our death. Yet there are influences we can have. The choices we make will definitely have an impact on our outcomes.

The problem is that many people, given the opportunity, retreat into fantasy when they're allowed to. It's so much easier to believe you're smart, attractive and with the potential for success than to actually go out and prove it in reality. The real world is unforgiving of our mistakes, whereas the rules of the dream-world inside our heads are mostly under our own control.

All the time I meet people with predefined beliefs about themselves. They say things like:
  • "I could be a great writer if only I had the time".
  • "Women are attracted to me, but I can't be bothered with them".
  • "I'm much smarter than average".
  • "My moral values are more worthy than those of others".
  • "I've never been any good at cooking".
  • And so on.
These are the types of ideas it's easy to carry around your entire lifetime without bothering to ever test out whether they're true. Of course, you can't help but get the occasional piece of feedback from the outside world, but this can easily be interpreted to suit you.

Instead of being the average chump filled with fantasies, test your ideas and beliefs out on reality. Plunge yourself into the cold, hard world until you're up to your neck in it.

It's a harsh teacher, and you'll likely find you aren't as clever and wise and you believed. That's okay. Being humbled by the world is the first step to learning how it really works. Having your fantasies torn apart isn't much fun, but you'll emerge a stronger and wiser soul.

Test yourself and your ideas out on reality. Rather than framing the feedback to fit what you wish were true, instead be honest with yourself. If the truths you discover are harsh, this is still better than living in a fantasy world. Understand reality, and you have a far better chance of influencing it to achieve your own ends.




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What is it that gets people down? All sorts of things, of course. It may be a chemical imbalance in the brain, a family tragedy, or an accident. But most of the time, the reason for ongoing dissatisfaction is that people simply aren't getting what they want out of life. They feel they aren't where they should be.
Self help & motivationMost things won't be as easy as you think
You know what really upsets me? When things don't turn out the way my optimistic side expects them to. When the girl I thought liked me just wants to be friends, when the job I thought I had in the bag goes to someone else, and when that cool party I was planning flops.
Self help & motivationCut all your credit-cards in half
I've never owned a credit-card. Most people are pretty surprised when I tell them that. They look at me like I've just said I've never had a glass of Coke or made a phone-call.
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Self help & motivationSuccess is mostly about failing a lot
Woody Allen once said "Seventy percent of success in life is showing up". It seems obvious, but convincing yourself to follow this advice can sometimes be difficult.
Self help & motivationGenerally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear
Some people live to tell others what they're doing wrong. They see themselves as some sort of ivory-tower dwelling soul, gazing mercifully down on the rest of us and having the generosity to point out our faults when they see it as necessary. I'm sure you meet such people all the time.
Self help & motivationBecome a stubborn competitor
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