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Understanding the basis of your emotions
We are emotional creatures whether we like it or not. There is a popular idea that emotions are irrational and the intellect rational. We are supposed to aim to use our intellect and ignore our emotions, like Mr Spock, or so some would have us believe.
But it's our emotions that drive us and are, in many ways, the masters of our intellect. Of what use is intellect without emotions, after all? Our rational side helps us to reach our goals, but it's our emotions that set them.
The desire to get rich is usually linked to the love of our family, or our desire for a comfortable life. Some lust for power and status so they can protect themselves and their kin. Our desire to help others is driven by our love for them and our need for recognition.
A perfectly rational person without emotions to drive them would be like a computer without a set task - powerful but useless. Even Mr Spock understood the need for peace because he cared about his fellow creatures.
So our emotions are necessary, but where do they come from?
Like so much of us, they're driven by our genes. There's a type of parallel universe made up of the world of genetics, which has a huge influence on our own lives. We are designed by the genes within each of us, and those genes have only one selfish purpose - to replicate and spread.
But they're unable to achieve this purpose alone, they need our help. Without us, they're useless. If we refuse to reproduce and/or protect our genetic relatives, then our selfish genes fail in their task.
Even worse for them, they don't have direct control over us. Only at the moment of our birth and design do they have any power. They lay out the structure of our bodies and minds, then set us free in the hope we'll do what they want us to. And there's no guarantee that we will. A person who uses contraception throughout their sexual life goes directly against the wishes of their genes, for example. As does someone who decides to murder all their relatives.
For our genes ensure that we're designed to perpetuate and reproductively succeed. They also want us to help others who share the same genetic makeup. Those others are, of course, our family.
Our children, siblings, and cousins all share a similar genetic makeup to ourselves. That's why we've been programmed to feel such affection and protective instincts for them. The closer someone is to us genetically, the stronger the emotional bond we are likely to feel for them. We can't help it, we're just programmed that way.
Of course, our spouses also invoke powerful feelings of love. They promise to help us extend and protect our families. Is it any wonder we're wired to feel deep affection for them?
That's not to say these feelings are in any way discounted, illegitimate or cold. They're real and often wonderful. It's our genes that are making the rational decisions about how our feelings should be. We're the ones who actually have them.
Our affections extend beyond our family and into friends and acquaintances. This is because they can help our genes achieve their goals. People who befriend and help others expect help in return. If I help to feed, cloth and protect your family, I can expect you to do the same for mine. That most of us feel so powerfully towards forming alliances and friendships tells us these are good strategies for genetic reproduction.
Reciprocated help is a great strategy for genetic survival. If I can rely on my acquaintances when times are tough, then it's worth my while investing resources helping them under similar circumstances.
The benefits of forming of alliances also explains many of our more negative emotions. Someone who decides to cheat in their alliances may have a genetic advantage over those who don't. If you help me with your resources, and I refuse to return the favor, I may well increase the chances of my genetic survival. After all, I've now got all my resources as well as the ones I managed to trick out of you. That's why cheaters make us so angry.
And this anger is most obvious when there's a direct challenge to the genetic lineage. One has only to think of the anger of a husband who discovers his wife has been unfaithful and his resources wasted on bringing up another man's children.
Thus, a population who can spot cheaters, and bears a grudge against them, has an advantage over one that doesn't. They get the benefits of sharing, without any one person using up their valuable resources. It's to the group's advantage to spot cheaters, but to the individual's benefit to be able to get away with cheating. But cheating is dangerous, because revenge can result.
This leads to a type of emotional arms race when our genes are wiring us up. They want us as individuals to have an advantage by not doing our share, while at the same time making sure others aren't doing the same to us. Anger, paranoia, suspicion, scheming, false indignation, and pretend affection are the inevitable results.
Emotions can be one of the most confusing, distressing, and wonderful parts of being human. Understanding that they've been built into us for a good reason can help us all to deal with them more effectively. We were put together in such a way to benefit a mysterious force from a parallel world - completely part of us and yet somehow separate.
Our genes drive us in ways that can be difficult to understand - and our emotions are part of that parcel.
Most of the ideas for this article were taking from Steven Pinker’s How the Mind Works if you’re interested in doing further reading on this subject.
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