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How to hook up with members of the opposite sex
Tuesday, 4 July 2006
A man and a woman meet each other at a singles bar. He bowls her over with his conversation, she dazzles him with her beauty. Within moments, they fall in love. Three months later they're married.
Does this sound like a likely scenario? The way most people approach dating, this is presumably how they expect things to turn out.
Most singles go for on-line dating, speed dating, singles bars, parties and so on, when looking for a partner. Yet almost every successful long-term relationship I know of didn't begin in any of those places.
Usually, people seem to fall for someone they already know quite well.
While we may find strangers attractive, it seems that in general most of us just aren't interested in forming a relationship with them. Even when people do hook up with strangers, the results are more often than not short-lived.
So where do people meet their long-term partners in general?
From my experience, most people find lasting connections from within their social groups. Those we spend time with on a regular basis just seem, for most people, to be more suitable partners. If you ask someone who they're in love with at the moment, more often than not it will be someone they know fairly well. Strangers and love just don't seem to be connected. Now strangers and lust, that's another story!
The conclusion you can draw from this is that if you attempt to join social groups which have members of the opposite sex in them, you're much more likely to find a partner than using the usual dating channels. You can increase your chances of love with somebody greatly, just by having a good reason to be around a lot.
Most of us belong to a few different social groups. You may spend regular time with people you went to school with, those you work with, those you do classes with, those you live near, people you play sport with and so on. The more of these kinds of groups you belong to, the more people you'll form friendships with - and the more chance you'll have that a friendship will bloom into something more.
Of course, you increase your opportunities even more if you join groups which contain a high ratio of the opposite sex. Men are unlikely to meet many women by joining a football team, women are unlikely to meet many men in a flower-pressing class, for example.
Don't be embarrassed to cross the line into an activity that's more favored by the opposite sex. This is a winning strategy in the game of love.
Men who do ballet will be guaranteed to meet a whole bunch of attractive women, for example. Their friends will probably laugh at them, until they start turning up to parties their fellow dancers as dates.
Women, on the other hand, who take up competitive pool will almost certainly meet a large number of men.
I'm sure you can think up many more scenarios on your own.
I've been married for a number of years now, but when I think back to my single day, all the times I had the most girlfriends were when I belonged to a social group with a lot of girls in it. Just by being around and being friendly, it usually wasn't too long before one of them took a liking to me.
I actually met my wife when I was living in England in a large residence where a number of young women also lived. We all tended to socialize together and help each other out. Finding a partner was easy in such a situation.
In the couple of years before that, I'd spent most of my time socializing in an aggressively male group, going out to bars and trying to meet women. In retrospect, it's no wonder I had so little luck with women during that time.
Increase your chances of hooking up with the opposite sex by using this strategy, and you're almost guaranteed success. Of course, this takes a bit more time than desperately trying to use the usual dating channels, but the rewards are much greater.
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