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Don't get sucked in by empty promises
I was at a work function last night where we were all getting treated to free drinks and food. There was a very attractive girl there who was enjoying the attention of many of the men.
I'd never met her before, but I noticed she had a habit of calling guys over, then flirting with them until they were wrapped around her little finger. All harmless fun, although a little humiliating for the men in question.
Inevitably, it became my turn to receive her attention. I was talking to a friend when she pointed to me from across the room and made the come-here sign with her finger. I walked over and she immediately began flirting with me and acting like I was the most special man she'd ever met.
I've been around for a while, and I knew exactly what she was up to. Of course, I'd seen her try out the trick on others, but even if I hadn't I would have been onto her games. Becoming another one of her toy-boy hangers-on isn't really of interest to me, especially seeing as I've been married for years.
Yet beneath my scepticism of her intentions, lay a little voice that was all too familiar. Maybe this beautiful girl really did like me. Perhaps I am so attractive that the woman every guy was after spotted me from across a crowed room and singled me out as her one and only man.
Stupid, I know, and the realist in me dismissed it. But it reminded me of how vulnerable we can all be to these types of empty promises. The group of men around her hanging onto every word only highlighted this fact.
Everyone deep down believes they're special, I think. Of course, we all care more about our own well-being than that of a stranger in the street, but I think there's much more to it than that. Pretty much everybody thinks they're more worthy of the good things in life than the average person.
Everyone believes they were born entitled to the most attractive partner, the most respect, a big pot of money, and a special say in how things should be done. Our opinions are more logical, our sense of humor funnier, our dress-sense more fashionable, our morality more right, and our attractiveness more potent.
The fact the world often shows it doesn't agree with our sense of entitlement, only serves to baffle and anger us. Most people believe the fact they're not sitting at the top of the pile enjoying the best life has to offer is some kind of huge cosmic mistake. Things are terribly wrong when we're so obviously special, but the world insists on treating us like we're not.
If we examine ourselves honestly and carefully, most of us can see through these falsehoods. The realist in us knows that the best things are usually given through hard work and patience. It's unlikely that we'll just bump into an attractive life-partner at the first party we go to, we probably won't win the lottery, we're probably not going to get offered an important job straight out of school.
Yet the belief that we're special and more entitled than others has a powerful hold. It's the reason for many people's downfall.
For example, I knew a guy at school who was smarter than average. He thought he was an absolute genius, but I was sceptical. Because of his belief in his own extraordinariness, he dropped out of school to seek his fortune. Needless to say this was a terrible mistake and he soon found himself working minimum-wage jobs.
I had another friend, when I was in my twenties, who became addicted to gambling. He worked hard as the manager of a camera store. As soon as he got his fortnightly pay-check, he'd be straight up to a local club to gamble it all away. He believed he was born to be rich, and gambling seemed the shortest path to fulfilling that belief. The fact that most gamblers lose didn't bother him. He wasn't an average slob like them - he was special.
Of course, the world didn't agree with this fantasy, and he was always broke as the slot-machines ate all his money.
Thinking you're special and more worthy than the average-Joe may feel good. It may even help motivate you to improve your circumstances. But don't believe the empty promises of easy-gains. You might think you're extraordinary, but the world is unlikely to agree unless you work hard to prove it.
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