
| 
Many people will do the minimum they can to get by
Friday, 2 November 2007
Have you ever noticed how many people operate at way below their potential? The genius who works an average office job, the fantastic woman who dates losers, the talented artist who spends all day in front of the TV. Why do such people not put in more effort?
I think there's something about us humans that's inherently lazy. We're willing to put in just enough effort to get by, but not much more. At least, that's the case with many people.
You can see this particularly in relationships. We all know somebody who's in a toxic relationship and think to ourselves: "Why do they put up with it?"
It's probably the "doing minimum to get by" problem. That person may not be happy in their relationship, but finding something better is just too much work. Even putting in the effort to improve their current relationship takes effort and a step outside the "comfort zone".
So they just coast on in a barely acceptable situation instead.
The flip side of this coin is that when you challenge people, you can often be surprised at the results.
We've all been thrown into situations where we felt way out of our depth before. Whether it's learning to drive, starting a new job, or hanging out with a new group of people. Suddenly we think to ourselves "I'm not up to this". And boy does it sting.
But if pushed, we can rise to the challenge. Seemingly insurmountable obstacles will be overcome. Yes it hurts, but we come out the other end a better person.
Sports coaches often see this at work. When I was younger, I used to do swimming training. I can remember the first few days of the training, the coach would insist I complete the program he set for me. That meant, among other things, a 500 meter swim just for warm-up. I'd never swum such a distance before and it was extremely hard.
In fact, there were times when I thought I might drown. But the coach pushed me to keep going long after I would have given up if it was up to me. The social pressure made me complete the warm-up.
Within weeks, I was swimming such distances regularly. I'd be doing kilometres of hard training without a second thought. I'd been forced to push far past my boundaries. And when the chips were down, I found I could do so.
Look at areas in your life where you're doing the minimum to get by. Have the courage to admit this to yourself.
Then put yourself in a situation where you'll be pushed to go way past the boundaries you've set. Circumstances involving social pressure are particularly good for this - jobs, courses, coaching and so on. Yes, it will hurt in the beginning. You'll feel weak, hopeless and out of your depth. But you'll come out of it a stronger person - guaranteed.
 | You can't always get what you want, and it's no bad thing | | I'm on holiday in the Philippines at the moment, and a local here told me an interesting thing. She said that in Australia, Britain and the US, all people did was work all the time because they weren't satisfied with their lives. Yet in the Philippines, she assured me, people are poor but happy. |  | Make yourself some allies | | A lot people don't see the point of putting in extra effort to make friends with those who cross their path. A waiter is there to serve me, a work colleague is there to help me, and a boss is there to direct me, they think. What's the point in trying to form any sort of meaningful connection with these people? |  | Don't let others manipulate you by making you feel uncomfortable | | We all want others to do things our way. If we can persuade those around us to somehow bend to our will, we feel that life's riches will be provided as a reward. So people can become very sneaky when it comes to trying to manipulate others. One of their most cunning tricks is to create uncomfortable situations that they hope you will be desperate to get out of. |  | Something that makes people fearful and angry | | Why do some problems make people absolutely furious, while others seem to run off them like water off a duck's back? What is it that causes more fear and loathing than anything else? |  | Ideas are easy, implementing them is hard | | I've know a lot of intelligent people in my time - some of them highly intelligent. Yet many of them aren't much more successful than average. How come? |  | Don't reward bad behavior in yourself and others | | Almost everyone has done things in life that they knew at the time were wrong. But sometimes, there seems to be an overwhelming force pushing towards what we know is going to be a bad outcome. Why can't we control ourselves? |  | Six secrets of successful long-term relationships | | My wife and I have been in a very loving relationship for nine years now. During the same period, I've seen some friends' relationships start and fall apart. Here are my secrets for a successful long-term relationship. |  | Increase the difficulty level | | I've just got back from a fantastic week's skiing in Queenstown, New Zealand. If you've never been there, it's really one of the world's most beautiful spots. I got in a good five days skiing, and I think I improved my style quite a bit. |  | My favorite productivity tools | | Most of us want to get more done. The tools we come up with often help us to achieve this goal. Here are my favorite productivity tools. |  | Resist the urge to criticize all the time | | People who criticize and complain constantly often think that they're serving some kind of public interest. By pointing out to everyone what's wrong with them and the world in general, they hope to improve things. It may be a comforting thought, but it's just plain wrong. |
New articles are being added all the time, so make sure you bookmark Paul's Tips and come back.
| 
|