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How to be cool
Friday, 2 February 2007
Yes, yes I know. The title of this article is a little immodest. I'm not saying that I'm the world's coolest man or anything like that. In fact, underneath it all I'm a bit of a geek. I have spent a lot of time hanging out with people who would generally be considered cool though. And I've often been part of the hip crowd in many environments.
That's given me a pretty good understanding of what makes cool people tick and how to change myself chameleon-like into someone with it when necessary. Here are the key components to concentrate on if you want to join the cool crowd.
Have a good understanding of the pop culture cool women like
Coolness is mostly about pop culture. What movies, TV shows, magazines and particularly music is currently in defines what's cool. You can't just figure this out by looking at the charts. Uncool stuff becomes popular all the time because uncool people spend money too.
If you really want to know what's important to the hip crowd, look at what the women are into. While the producers of hot products may be men, it's the women who generally call the shots on what's in and what's out.
Things that appeal almost exclusively to men are generally in the uncool category. Think Dungeons and Dragons, thrash metal and Star Trek. There's nothing especially wrong with these things, but if you're a devoted fan who wears your obsession on your sleeve, you're unlikely to be able to break into the hip crowd.
Look after your appearance
There's nothing cool people like better than appearance. If you dress well, stand tall, and groom properly, you're probably already half-way there. Of course, your appearance has to be fashionable. Grey-suited accountants generally aren't perceived as cool, no matter how well-pressed their trousers.
A good place to look for fashion tips is music videos. Concentrate on the ones that are popular with the women in the hip crowd. If you can dress like those in the videos, you'll probably do well.
One word of warning on this, wear clothes that are appropriate for you. If you're overweight, skip the crop-tops. If you're skinny, don't go in for muscle-shirts.
Become a good communicator
Cool people are generally expert communicators. They use the language of the street, but it's not just about knowing the currently popular slang. You have to be able to manipulate it better than your peers.
Practice making things sound sexy and enticing. Look at how the cool people in movies do it, and try to learn their tricks. Don't just repeat movie lines verbatim - that's uncool - but try to figure out the techniques people like Quentin Tarantino use to make their characters sound hip.
Relax
Cool people are comfortable with themselves. Panic and stress are not typical emotions for them. If you can train yourself to keep a chilled head and a sharp wit while those around you are losing it, you're most definitely cool.
Cool people also aren't desperate for approval. If you're running around trying to impress everybody in a panic, you'll just look like an idiot. Cool people know how to impress people while looking like they're putting in no effort whatsoever.
So there you have it, my key tips for being cool. I hope they help you.
 | How to be cool | | Yes, yes I know. The title of this article is a little immodest. I'm not saying that I'm the world's coolest man or anything like that. In fact, underneath it all I'm a bit of a geek. |  | What to do when you've made a life-shatteringly bad decision | | Let's face it, despite our often high opinions of ourselves, we're all human really. There's not a person on this planet who hasn't made an incredibly stupid decision at some stage that's had life-changing consequences. You'll certainly make such a dumb call yourself some day, as will I and everybody else. |  | How to get control of your body | | The evidence that people in rich modern societies have lost control of their bodies is widespread. Poor eating, drug use, and lack of exercise are common habits. Why is it that we have such difficulty gaining power over our bodies, and what can we do about it? |  | Perfect contentment leads to stagnation | | Have a look at how so many of us live our lives. We get up in the morning, go out all day and work, work, work. Whether in a rich country or a poor one, a good neighbourhood or bad, you can be sure that most of the people around you will be working most of the time. |  | Get yourself some allies | | People I know who are introverted often tell me they don't really understand why outgoing people expend so much time and effort on socialising. They see it all as being a bit shallow and a waste of effort. But I think they miss the point in a lot of ways. | | Get over yourself | | We live in a culture that's obsessed with self-esteem. A person can achieve no greater thing than believe in their own special importance, or so we're told. | | Do lots of small, cheap experiments | | I once met a guy who'd built a successful website that he'd made a lot of money from. It's always interesting to talk to people who've done well, so I asked him what his secret was. | | Learn how to deal with the unknown | | Deep down inside, it's human nature to have a fear of that which we haven't had direct experience with. The default setting for many of us seems to be suspicion of people, food, countries, organizations and any number of other things we don't know much about. | | Give away lots of little gifts | | It amazes me how many people don't pay attention to developing their relationships. Other people are extremely useful in life. Indeed, for me, I think they are probably my favourite thing in the whole world. A good connection with another can be the most wonderful thing you can have. | | It's extremely difficult to change people | | Most of us have someone in our life we'd like to change. It might be a lover, a child, a boss, or a neighbor. We try every trick at our disposal to meet that end, but in general we are likely to fail. |
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